1. You're caught up thinking about your next profile photo (or video) and how perfect and amazing it has to be. It has to be updated so that Cute Guy You Met At The Bar can find you and add you as a friend! It also has to capture your personality or vibe so everyone thinks on the fly how great of a person you are.
2. You don't understand why other people who don't have good profile pictures get 700 likes. HOW?! You worked so hard to get your pout and pose perfect and the composition just right! Theirs is so MEH with the bad cropping and lighting! They don't even look fun. Ugh.
3. You analyze and proofread your posts for hours. Because hello, you can't make a mistake! Plus, you have to sound smart but not annoying so you get a bunch of likes!
4. You see a mistake in your post and your heart skips TWO beats. "NOOOOOOOO." You wonder if you should delete the post and correct the error in a new one ("pero paano na 'yung mga likes? Baka they won't like it again 'cos they think they liked it already!"), or just use the Edit function ("but people will see my mistake when they check the edit history!").
5. You spend so much time looking for awesome content you can share so people like or share your post. "People like cat GIFs, right? Anything with baby animals?! Oh, and those food porn stuff! I'm gonna get so many likes on THIS one!"
6. You think about what time you should post something and change your profile picture. 9 p.m. or 9:34 p.m.? It has to be the peak time so everyone will see your new update on the dot!
7. The suspense that comes with waiting for likes. Nope, you won't rest until you get a FLOOD of likes. Oh! One notification! Two! Four! AWESOME! They like my photo! PEOPLE LOVE ME AND FIND ME PRETTY. *tear*
8. You constantly check your phone to see if you have new likes. You put working, eating, sleeping, taking a bath, and peeing on hold just to see who the new likers are and to see who haven't liked your photo yet.
9. You always hope your crush and the people you admire will like your photo. It's validation at its finest. Sometimes you just want them to like your stuff, never mind the other people.
10. Comparing your life to what other people's lives are like. Technically you're comparing your life to what other people's lives look like since your only basis is the photos they post. STILL. They look perfect and fun and lovely and right now you feel like crap and just want to go to a corner and mope.
11. Stalking your crush and his girl friends is so much easier, meaning it's also devastating. "BA'T ANG GANDA NILANG LAHAT. OMG. They look so cute together. I wish we looked cute together, too! Do they or did they have a thing?!" *ugly crying*
12. You waste so much time scrolling through your feed. So much that you feel like you have no more time to do other things. Why is Facebook so addicting?!
13. You can't help watching a number of videos on your feed thanks to the autoplay. They're all just there that you just have to see the end even if you weren't interested in the first place! They're annoying for taking so much of your time, but they're entertaining too.
14. You've thought about deleting a post 'cos it didn't get any likes. Your Facebook timeline and profile should make you look fun, interesting, and popular. And a post with no like shows that no one gives a fuck about you or your links. No one must think that way of you, even if it's true sometimes.
15. You can't upload anything or even view anything because of bad internet connection. WAAAAAH! Not when you're uploading travel photos to let the world know where you are this very moment! :(
16. You've been told not to be on your phone while having a meal. So you eat fast just to get back on Facebook or think about how much fun other people have it in life. Why can't you go through Facebook when your parents can read a book or the newspaper on the table? It's not like everyone was actually talking or looking at the food.
17. You stay up late to refresh your feed so you can see new updates from people. It's so weird how sometimes there's just nothing new going on in other people's lives. Okay, that's normal, but still! You want to be entertained!
18. You see stupid posts from people every now and then. And humblebrags and rants and those feeling intellectual posts. Who are these guys fooling?! You'd unsubscribe to them but you're just curious about their next stupid post! Yes, it's not healthy and not worth it sometimes, but Facebook just made you want to look into other people's lives.
19. You might not even know you're addicted to Facebook since it's a huge part of your life now. That is, until you feel depressed from missing out or comparing yourself to other people or not getting enough likes. Or, you know, when you have to go for hours feeling bored and empty because you can't go to your feed.
20. You've thought about deactivating Facebook since it's ruining your life. What life? LOL! You don't deactivate it 'cos practically everyone's on it and you want to keep in touch with so many people (or like their photos so they won't ever forget you). And you still want to save photos you'll be tagged in, duh!
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