1. You just do not have time for anyone that doesn't put the toothpaste cap back on properly.
It's just another form of cruelty. Cruelty against neat people.
2. Having a disorganized friend to stay pushes your endurance levels to the limit.
So her shit's all over your bedroom and she's tried on twenty of your tops without putting them back on the hanger again? Totally not stressful at ALL.
3. You pre-clean your hotel room when you're on holiday.
You're a maid's dream come true. But the person you're staying with will probably condemn your actions as "pointless."
4. A trip to Make Room/Howard's Storage/Ace Hardware is one of the most exciting things you could possibly put in your diary.
Drawer dividers, shoe hangers, under bed boxes...SO many new organizing opportunities it makes your head spin.
5. Your friends can't get over how ridiculously organized your beauty products are.
They could have all this too, if only they tried.
"Why is the cheese grater in that cupboard when you know it goes in this drawer? We've been through this."
7. You have a weird aversion to the TV volume being on an 'odd' number.
Odd numbers just have no neat symmetry.
8. You're itching to give your messy friends a makeover.
Like in She's All That, but less about makeup, more about teaching them the many benefits of a tidy sock drawer. Alas some people just cannot be fixed.
9. When your work colleagues ask what your weekend plans are and you substitute 'having a nice deep clean' with a more fun-sounding lie.
I'm going to a gig. And er, bungee-jumping.
10. When something you own breaks, part of you does an excited dance.
No matter how much you loved that something, ANY excuse to throw something out is a reason to celebrate.
11. You stockpile cleaning supplies and you're not ashamed to admit it.
Mr. Muscle, Zonrox—name it, you've got it. P.S. You also have your favorite cleaner for every corner of the home.
12. Hoarder documentaries are the equivalent of watching a horror film.
So. Much. Unnecessary. Junk. *Hyperventilates*
13. When you can't seem to focus or get motivated at work, you realize it's probably because your empty mug is still on your desk from this morning and it's totally throwing off your Feng Shui.
A little desk-tidy does wonders for the mind.
14. When your friends are still lounging around your house after crashing at yours the night before and you just want them to leave so you can TIDY THE HELL UP.
In the nicest possible way.
15. You're the organizer of your friendship group.
And rest assured, any outings you do organize will be planned to military precision.
16. You cannot and will not deal with an unmade bed.
Even if you're exhausted and just about to get INTO bed, you'll still spend ages making it up perfectly (including arranging the 47 decorative cushions/mini pillows). Peace at last.
17. If you could choose between shopping at Topshop or window shopping at Pottery Barn, you know which you'd choose.
Mainly because the post-rummaging wonky hangers in Topshop stress you the hell out.
18. You love spring cleaning.
Even if Manila doesn't have Spring.
19. Reorganizing your wardrobe for the summer is your favorite thing ever.
Folding, color-coding, and neatly hanging clothes are among your top hobbies.
20. You hate unannounced visitors.
Even though yours is clearly the tidiest house anyone has ever been to, probably ever, you'll still profusely apologize for "the mess" when there's a rogue pair of shoes cluttering up the place.
21. Your local charity LOVES you.
A side effect of not hanging onto crap you don't need is that you donate a lot of stuff.
22. You've definitely lost friends over people not using coasters.
WHY WOULD YOU INTENTIONALLY RUIN A TABLE? WHYYYYY?
23. But on the bright side, you barely ever lose things.
Because unlike the rest of this scatty world, everything you own has its place.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.co.uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.