1. Getting stuck on levels of Candy Crush when your friends are ahead of you is too much to bear. An all-nighter is the only option.
2. There's no such thing as a "chill board game session" in your house at Christmas time. Your family would pay you all the Monopoly money in the world just to make you step away from Park Lane.
3. It's somewhat tricky to dismiss your brutal trash-talking as playful banter later on. Words said in the heat of the moment can leave deep, deep scars.
4. You find any kind of group work intolerable. Your grade relies on this hungover moron who can't operate Powerpoint if it smacked him over the head with a jazzy font? Oh GOOD.
5. Similarly, relying on your useless drunk friends during quiz night is always a recipe for disaster. Your pleas of "playing sober will be so much more FUN, guys :)" fall on deaf ears. Goodbye, jackpot cash prize!
6. If you feel like your achievements don't get the proper appreciation, you can't deal. "Rock, paper, scissors is NOT just down to luck, you guys. I made it happen."
7. Your friends know how much you hate losing so make sure they rub it in EVEN MORE in the (very rare) event it happens. Maybe one glorious day you'll win yourselves some less douchey friends.
8. There is literally nothing that can't be turned into a competition. Overtaking people walking on the pavement next to you, elbowing people out of the way en route to the least busy grocery line... You're winning at life 24/7.
9. Any 'team-building' exercises you've taken part in at work have definitely done more harm than good to team spirit. Yep.
10. You've still never quite got over that time your MUCH younger cousin beat you at Connect Four. Pure luck.
11. You have to try so hard to make it seem like you're easy-breezy whenever a competitive activity is suggested so it doesn't end up "like last time." (And the time before that.)
12. You feel almost perpetually undervalued in your job. You treat every single task as a competition that you subsequently nail. Why can't there be daily praise and prizes?
13. People are slightly afraid to be on your team when it comes to anything competitive. But the alternative—being against you—is SO much worse that you're never short of hopeful team mates.
14. Bowling does not make a good double date. If you don't win, you will ruin the rest of the night for everyone complaining about the wonky floor and sub-standard balls.
15. Nobody understands that you WERE absolutely robbed. And that "You can't win 'em all" isn't soothing. It makes things ten times worse.
16. Not being the maid of honor, or even bridesmaid makes you question everything. *Deletes bride-to-be from life instantly*
17. Auditioning for school plays was a tough time for you. If you didn't get Mary or Joseph, you felt like you'd failed at life. That shepherd outfit was a robe of pure shame.
18. You feel like the phrase "It's not the winning, it's the taking part" was made up by someone specifically to annoy you.
19. You have a patented winning dance. That you deploy regularly. Because winning is just how you roll.
20. Signing up for any kind of running event will take over your entire life. Your Facebook feed will subsequently be taken up by progress reports on the literally endless #TRAINING you've been doing.
21. There is nothing like the rush of being the best at something. Even something as arbitrary as a cashier remarking on the very shiny coin you just gave them gets your adrenaline flowing. WOOP!
22. You regularly injure yourself at the gym because you can't quit before the person next to you. Even if they're built like a wrestler. Ouch.
23. You have weird little rituals that you're convinced help you win. Like, wearing the same pair of socks for every athletic competition you join. "OMG! Where are my blue socks?! I can't wear these green socks. I will lose for sure! FOR SURE."
24. It's hard work being the best at everything, sometimes. But you wouldn't change it for the world.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.co.uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.