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11 Thoughts You'll Have After College Graduation

Can somebody please just give me a job already?

1. I’M SO FREEEEE! Now I can finally binge-watch those TV series I’ve been putting off since I started slaving away on my thesis. And I can finally update my Instagram with those nice photos from last Christmas which I never got around to posting. And look, it’s time for a nap!

2. But I can't really go out much because I’m broke as fuck. Hassle. So most of the time I’m really just stuck at home, or running errands for my folks. I'm basically my mom's bitch. (Kidding, mom. Love you.)

3. Enough with this. It’s time to work those connections and start seriously looking for a job. Calling all ninongs and ninangs! Parents of friends! Friends of parents of friends! 

4. Harsh reality: So many online job postings, so little promise. Will I ever find a job opportunity I like that doesn’t require any number of years of experience? Because I have approximately zero of that sort. Jobstreet, you’re breaking my heart.

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5I’ve finally scored a job interview! Dear universe, I hope I don’t screw it up. Don’t fuck it up don’t fuck it up don’t make a stupid joke during the interview. Aaand…I just did. KILL ME NOW.

6. It’s been weeks and I still haven’t gotten a call-back from any of the companies I applied at. Is there something wrong with me? Does my resume look too empty? Should I have joined more orgs in college? Should I have spent less time sleeping and more time studying? IS IT TOO LATE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT ALL THIS NOW?

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7. Oh look, another batchmate has landed a job, while I’m just here bitterly witnessing their successes on Facebook. Yipee! Seeing my friends checking in at their swanky offices in Makati or posting photos looking all spiffy at their desks is enough to make me want to quit social media. Will only the bad jobs be left for me now?!

8. Maybe I should just get a post-graduate degree…? Yes? No? But ugh, more schoolwork. I'm so done with that.

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9. I’ll worry about work later. My (unemployed) friends and I are going out partying tonight—we’re young and wild and free! But not Tricia. Or Kathy. Or Dan. They’re too “busy” in their grown-up jobs to join us.

10. I can't believe I'm saying this, but can somebody please just give me a job already? After months of no work, I'll take anything! My expectations can’t get any lower at this point.

11. YAAAAASSSSS! I GOT A JOB OFFER! So it’s not exactly what I imagined I'd be doing; in fact, I’m terrified that my employers will discover just how unfit I am for the job and kick me out on my ass. But yes, MONEY—and okay, taxes and bills and all that shit—COME TO ME!

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11 Thoughts You'll Have Before College Graduation