1. You have Snapchat on your phone but don't use it because it exhausts you. There are stories, and you can make photos and videos, and put words and MS Paint drawings over them, and just—is this really an Official Thing Forever? Like, can everyone just be sure before you commit to trying to learn it?
2. You love Britney Spears but your feelings for Miley Cyrus are a mild warm at best. You got the Miley album. You like it. You listen to it at the gym. It gets you going. But nothing on it makes you go as hard as "Til the World Ends."
3. You can't believe the 22-year-old in your office doesn't know Ace of Base. Your response: "Don't turn around, I don't want you seeing me cry," etc.
4. You wish people talked on the phone at least sometimes instead of trying to have entire convos with you over text. You remember when you had to push the button on your flip phone three times to get the letter you want. You almost miss those dark days because it would force people into verbal communication.
5. You know moon rocks exist and are some kind of recreational drug but don't know what they actually are. You increasingly fear for the youth, of which you are pretty sure you are no longer a part.
6. You'd go to Coachella, sure—but only if you could be in a private pen like Kendall Jenner away from all the people. YOLO, and all that.
7. You have eye cream in your makeup cabinet but believe in your heart of hearts you're too young to need it. You put it on once every other week when your skin feels extra-dry, or something.
8. You find yourself spending more and more time with your iPad. Like your mom.
9. You can think of several things that just aren't what they used to be. Like how you used to watch an award show without sites like BuzzFeed doing 80 posts about people's "reaction faces" the next morning.
10. You don't play Candy Crush but you have the distinct feeling it is nothing like the Solitaire you used to play on your parents' desktop computer.
11. You are shocked to discover the 22-year-old in your office only knows Madonna songs because they remixed them at her sorority parties. "What?! That's the only reason you dance to 'Like a Prayer' at your friends' weddings?!" Kids these days, you think, head shaking.
12. You find yourself having to look up terms like "bae," "on fleek," and this thing
¯_(ãƒ„)_/ ¯ with increasing frequency. They don't become part of your online vocabulary, but at least you can IM with Youngs and understand what they're saying.
13. When you watch MTV award shows with live pop performances you feel very confused. You half still like this shit, and half wonder why you tune in at all and if this is what Britney looked like to your parents in the '00s.
14. Skrillex = the first time you decided "music" was "noise."
15. On the upside, you can still keep your mom young by teaching her emojis. You usually feel more old than young, but not when your mom is around with her iPhone.
16. You don't understand the younger people you know who find Justin Bieber hot.
¯ _(ãƒ„)_/ ¯ is that the correct response?
17. It feels really weird that Rihanna is younger than you. You're so old now that pop stars will never be older than you. Not that you're really OLD old, but still. You kind of are.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.