Is love enough? Some of us want to believe it, and maybe some of us have even said it to a partner of a different income bracket in hopes of making the relationship last. But others know that love is not enough. These guys have thought, "You can't eat love" or "What can I do with love when I'm hungry?"
It might sound bad that love costs us money, that you can't take away financial matters when it comes to relationships. We've grown up watching films or reading stories or listening to songs about how love surpasses all things, that all we need is love.
Some of us aren't exposed to (or just aware of) the fact that it costs us at least a cent to express our love—what more to sustain it. A date costs money, and a fancy dinner is bound to give you at least a four-digit total cost. Even traveling to see each other will cost you—gas, cab/bus/jeep/trike fare. In a long-distance relationship? There's an airfare you pay to see your S.O., your lodging when you're on his side of the globe, or even just the Internet for all your Skype dates. It's all part of the lengths we take to show someone we're invested in him/her.
And things don't get any lighter on the wallet after the dating or courtship phase. Planning to get married? To get your dream wedding, you and your partner might get yourselves into debt like other couples, according to licensed stockbroker Aya Laraya, who gave a talk in a financial literacy media forum hosted by eCompareMo.com. He states that one of the top five stressors of married couples are finances, which start with the wedding. "It takes the couple around five years to pay off that debt," he continues. "You have to be healthy coming to a marriage, and [that] includes financial health. Can you support yourself? If not, then what makes you think that you can support another person?"
You get the picture, don't you? It might look a bit grim if you're not financially secure. And even if you are, there's no guarantee that your love life will be easy in the long run. According to business man George Siy, the best or most expensive investment you can make is your choice of partner: "He or she can potentially double or cut your assets in half, depending also if you decide to stay together or break up." Imagine dating a gambler or a guy who ends up becoming one; or a guy who spends more than he earns; or a guy who spends more than he earns and wants you to quit work so you can clean the house.
Now that we've established that money is part of this thing called love, what then? Well, here are a few things you should do:
1. Don't pressure your partner to spend on unimaginably expensive things if he's a money-smart and thrifty guy. The least you could do is to pay half of your exorbitant dinner date, because he's still got his own life to account for.
2. See value in the "cheap" things. Know that while money is a factor in a relationship between two successful (or trying to be successful) people, it's not what makes a loving relationship. A guy who spends a lot for you doesn't mean he loves you so much. There are the little gestures, like slipping random love or inspirational letters in your things. And of course the priceless ones like making time for you, staying commited, and never forgetting intimacy.
3. Be wary of a guy who's spending more than what he makes in a month. Know that that spending habit is not cool, and it shouldn't flatter you if he's splurging without limits for you. Compulsive spenders are found to have "materialistic values." Apart from that, they think that spending way too much boosts their self-esteem and improves their reputation or image—you can imply that they might have insecurities they're repressing, or that they have a bad self-image and compensate by creating an impressive picture of them for the world to see. But compulsive spending ends up consuming them. It's up to you if you want to be that person to help him feel good about himself or to keep away. For sure, as a decent human being you wouldn't want to encourage such behavior.
4. Grow your money. To be a stable person in a stable relationship, you need to grow your money, advises Siy. "Working hard won't cut it. You have to invest in stocks and real estate, in appreciating assets rather than depreciating assets." Hopefully your guy loves an independent woman.
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