Speaking from experience, whenever someone I know gets married and I have to play a major role in their wedding, my brain goes into full panic mode. On one hand, I'm ecstatic for my friend, but on the other, I'm going A Beautiful Mind on my bank account trying to figure out my budget. If you're lucky, your friend is intuitive enough that she won't ask you to pay for three different parties, but that almost never happens. SO, if you're flailing and you need to take a step back from spending so much on your friend's wedding festivities, like a bachelorette party or bridal shower, how should you go about it?
1. Talk to the organizer.
A good organizer asks everyone in the entourage for the amount they can swing before finalizing plans. If you can't afford to chip in on a fancy yacht party or weekend getaway to Hong Kong with the entourage, that's not your fault. You don't have to feel like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. All you have to do is be honest with the organizer, who's usually a close friend anyway, and tell her straight up. She should adjust from there. You may not be able to participate in everything, but you definitely won't be left out.
2. Be firm.
If, however, the organizer isn't the friendliest or most understanding person, don't let that guilt you into saying yes to every single expense. I know too many people who felt like a shitty friend by bringing up their money issues so they just used their credit card and dealt with it afterwards. It doesn't have to be that way. Draw the line and stick to your guns.
3. Go straight to the bride.
The last thing you want to do is to stress the bride so close to her wedding day, but if you feel like your concern isn't being taken seriously, there's really no harm with telling your friend directly that you'll have to sit some stuff out. If she understands, problem solved. And if not, then at least you know what kind of friendship you have.
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