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Shit You Hear In The MRT

"Nasa hell na ba tayo?"

Girl 1: I can’t breathe anymore!

Girl 2: Two stops ‘til Guadalupe and it’ll all be over.

MRT stops in Guadalupe and almost half of the people get off the train.

Girl 1: Shit, it’s like unhooking your bra after work.

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When people try to get in or get out:

Random people: Aray… Aray! ARAY!! ARAAAAY!

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Before the train arrives:

Boy: Okay, I get in first then you just hold on to my hand and follow me, ha?

Girl: What if I don’t make it? It’s so kadiri, babe.

Boy: Ano, iiwanan kita dito? Okay lang sa ‘yo yun?

They eventually get on the train but the boyfriend doesn’t help his girlfriend get in.

 ~*~

Group of 3 friends see girl they hated in highschool:

Girl 1: Ewww, like why is she on the MRT?

Girl 2: I know right, bagay beauty niya dito.

Girl 3: Mga gaga, naka-MRT rin tayo ngayon.

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Girl: "SHET NINAKAWAN AKO. P*TA YUNG PHONE KO! P*TA HINDI KO PA YUN NABABAYARAN! SHET SHET SHET!" *Ugly cries alone from Guadalupe to Ayala Station.*

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When someone who refuses to move:

“Excuse me…”

“Excuse me someone is trying to pass.”

Ate, excuse me may dadaan, ho.”

Atemay dadaan sabi eh!”

No reaction, still.

Pasensyahan nalang…”

*Pushes girl towards the exit*

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“God, it smells like a public toilet in here.”

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Nasa hell na ba tayo?”

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Frenchman: “It’s more fun the Philippines, I guess?”

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Two women fighting over a non-existent space:

Manang 1: Sabing usog eh?

Manang 2: Kita mo nang walang mauusugan, di ‘ba? Mag taxi ka na lang—ang yaman yaman mo kasi eh!

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Kuya, paki-adjust na lang po yung bag niyo, kanina pa ho kasi pumapasok sa pwetan ko.”

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“On my life, I swear that I will let my children experience this madness!”

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Girl 1: Buti na lang matangkad ako, no?

Girl 2: Bakit?

Girl 1: Mejo malapit yung aircon sa face ko.

~*~

Sometimes, you also see what other people text. For instance:

"Beh, pauwi naq. Miss u, mahal q."

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But not all texts conversations you see are of gross lovers with jeje speaksome touch the heart, the perfect end to a long work day. Sometimes, they look like this:

Beh, pauwi na si Tatay. Handa mo na uling, magsisiga ako pag-uwe. Miss you, ‘nak.”

~*~

“If this is hell, then I pray to the Lord I go straight to heaven.”

~*~

What other shit do you hear in the MRT? Let us know by sounding off in the comment section below!