The Emotional Stages of Being a Bridesmaid

Help me, I'm poor.

1 year before the wedding
OMG NINA IS ENGAGED!! I'm already writing my wedding toast speech in my head.

11.5 months before
I wonder if Nina meant it all the times we joked about stuff we'd do when she got engaged. Did she mean that I was going to be a bridesmaid? Or was that just talking? What if I'm not even invited?

11 months before
Nina asked me to be a bridesmaid! This is going to be so much fun!

10.9 months before
Oh God, Kat just called me crying because Nina didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid.

10 months before
Being a bridesmaid is the best! Nina and I just Viber pictures of dresses to each other all day long, and I get to spend every night pinning things to my *~*bRiDaL EvEntS*~** board.

9 months before
Nina's sister Cheska just made a Whatsapp group for the bridesmaids to e-introduce us all! We even have a Google Doc for this wedding! I'm so glad she's so organized!

8.5 months before
Whoa. This is more spreadsheets than I use for work.

8 months before
Oh good, we're already talking about the bachelorette party! STRIPPERS!! 

7 months before
If I get one more effing Whatsapp message about this bachelorette party, I'm going to scream. If Cheska is so sure that Nina wants a hot Magic Mike-esque stripper for her party THEN SHE CAN'T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE PRICE. GEEZ.

6 months before
Dress shopping! This will be great. All the dresses on Nina's bridesmaid Pinterest board are actually pretty and totally something I'll wear again. Strapless looks good on everyone!

5.9 months before
We can't do strapless because Dana's boobs are too big. We can't do short dresses because Cheska is too worried about the hems not being the same length. All the dresses that don't feel like garbage cost more than what I earn. And this shade of pink is sooo not the one on Nina's Pinterest board.

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5 months before
Oh good, now we have bridal shower spreadsheets to check daily in addition to the bachelorette party spreadsheets.

4 months before
Since Cheska is the maid of honor, Nina asked me if I'd make a speech at the rehearsal dinner since I'm her best friend. Obviously I cried when she asked me. How am I going to actually make the speech without sobbing?

3.5 months before
How much are you supposed to spend on a present when you're already spending so much on being a bridesmaid? Excuse me while I spend the next two hours Googling and calling my mom.

3 months before
That bachelorette party was awesome! I'm super hungover but it's okay! And that stripper? Yup, totally worth the money.

2.5 months before
I have officially spent more than what I planned on this wedding. I'm just not going to count anymore.

2 months before
Kat just texted me and asked if she could use my plus one for the wedding for her boyfriend, who didn't get invited, since I'm not seeing anyone. I'm sending a screenshot of this to Nina and not responding.

1 month before
I seriously need to figure out the tissue thing. I went with Nina to her fitting today and I started to tear up just looking at her in a fluorescent-lit curtain cubicle with her hair in a messy bun. Hopefully I remember what they taught me about how to bustle her dress.

3 weeks before
I guess the bridesmaid dress looks okay on me. Maybe I can tailor it to be short after the wedding and wear it to something else. Or maybe it will just collect dust in my closet for the next four years.

2 weeks before
It just hit me that my best friend is getting married. Is this going to change everything? I know she's been with Chris for like three years but what if her becoming a Mrs. suddenly makes things weird? Are they going to try to have kids soon? What if she gets too busy for me? What if I'm single forever? She's going to grow old surrounded by beautiful great-grandchildren and I'm going to die alone surrounded by cats.

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5 days before
Cheska just emailed all the bridesmaids ANOTHER spreadsheet for everyone to describe what they're wearing to the rehearsal dinner so we don't wear the same thing. Yes, because bridesmaids wearing similar things is a real problem.

1 day before
I was THIS close to making it through my rehearsal dinner speech without crying. And by this close I mean I didn't get to the whole last paragraph.

Wedding day
My best friend is marrying the love of her life. I just got my hair and makeup done and I look incredible. I figured out how to hide tissues in my bra. Nina looks radiant. The photographer just took the best picture ever of us laughing and hugging. I've never seen her look as happy as she does looking at Tim right now. This is the best day ever.

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.

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