The cryptic update
SAMPLE: "Thank YOU for last night. You were AMAZING."
OUR VERDICT: We seriously don’t need to know if you got laid last night. Seriously.
The emo status
SAMPLE: "It’s been over two years, I know, but I still miss you so much *insert name of ex-boyfriend here*"
OUR VERDICT: Two years and you still haven't moved on? Girl, anong petsa na?! Move on na, please!
The humble brag
SAMPLE: "Wow! I can’t believe I’m going to spend a whole week in El Nido!"
OUR VERDICT: Neither can we.
The ultimate brag
SAMPLE: "I just love driving my new Jag. Sweeeet!"
OUR VERDICT: Drive in traffic? Talaga lang ha.
The opinionated rant
SAMPLE: "I think the government sucks."
OUR VERDICT: Like we don’t know?
SAMPLE: "That bitch! Who the eff does she think she is?!"
OUR VERDICT: Geez, tell it to her face.
The serial hashtag
SAMPLE: #ThisIsTheBestestRestoEver #ComingBack #DinnerWasAwesome #DessertWasGreatToo #blessed
OUR VERDICT: Stop trying to be witty. #YouSuck
The mush overload
SAMPLE: "Another perfect and awesome year with you, babyluv."
OUR VERDICT: Once is cute. Twice is nauseating. Thrice? Give us a barf bucket.
The food documentary
SAMPLE: "Had an awesome ham and cheese croissant for breakfast. *photo here*"
OUR VERDICT: Shall we start a food diary for you?
What are the other annoying status updates you've seen on FB? Share them in the comments section!