1. The Millennial
Based on his life story, this Uber driver graduated from college, but doesn't practice his profession, because he never really liked his course in the first place. Now that he has lots of free time contemplating about his quarter-life crisis, he's driving his dad's car to get extra income.
What to expect when you ride his car: A well-curated playlist of indie and mainstream songs combined. Traffic ba? Ayos lang, maganda ang song selection ni kuya!
2. The Dedicated Family Man
He has three kids ("Kaka-graduate lang ng bunso ko, ma'am!"), a loving wife who cooks his baon (The best sinigang niya!"), and a dog. Cute!
What to expect when you ride his car: A long chikahan session about his family that will bring you to tears. "Mahirap mag-drive araw-araw, pero para sa pamilya 'to eh. Chaka mababait naman po mga pasahero ko."
3. The Political Analyst
Your conversation about the traffic situation in Manila and the pesky road violators ("Ma'am, nabasa niyo po ba 'yung sa Top Gear?!) will gradually evolve to a political discussion about the pros and cons of the current administration. Plus, a complete discourse on infrastructure, poverty, economy, and international relations. Sa galing ni kuya, sana maging Cabinet secretary na siya.
What to expect when you ride his car: A SONA.
4. The Accomplished Retiree
Now at 65, this driver is proud to say that he has raised two doctors and one lawyer, while his bunso is in his senior year in college ("Ayun, sa awa ng Panginoon, makakatapos na rin siya ng Architecture."). He bought his Uber car using his retirement savings, and he and his wife are enjoying their alone time now that all their kids are all successful.
What to expect when you ride his car: An inspirational speech about raising kids, being a good spouse, and accomplishing your goals in life. After mo siyang kausapin, feeling mo kayang-kaya mo na ang lahat!
5. The Negatron
This driver’s favorite line is: “Hindi talaga ako kumukuha ng pasahero diyan sa inyo, eh.” Because his previous passenger unfortunately brought him to where he is now, he has no choice but to wait for a new passenger to book a ride. As a result, you, the ill-fated new rider, are on the receiving end of his rants (i.e. The residents are sketchy, the streets are too narrow, your place is generally chaotic).
What to expect when you ride his car: Rants, rants, and more rants.
6. The Rare Species
If you were to compare this Uber driver to a Pokémon, this one would be rare. A female, to be exact! This Uber driver is either an established career woman or a mother who often says “Gulat ka noh?!” when you enter her car. Girl power, yaas!
What to expect when you ride her car: A chika session on why she decided to drive Uber, and a lot of kwento about her career, family, hobbies, and more. Whoo, way to go, tita! Just keep doing you!
7. The Unsung Hero
Yes, he’s an Uber driver, but he’s definitely more than that! Low batt ka? He’s got a charger! Gutom ka? "Ma'am, may chips ako sa glove compartment." Wala kang 3G? "Meron rin po akong free WiFi. Password po ay 'BastaUberDriverSweetLover'" Ano ba ang flaw mo, kuya?!
What to expect when you ride his car: Happiness
8. The Lecturer
Call him old school or traditional, but this Uber driver will impart his #knowledge and #wisdom before he presses 'End Trip!' Life lessons? Check! Love lessons? Check!
What to expect when you ride his car: A full-length sermon on taking care of yourself, studying hard, respecting the elders, and loving your enemies.
9. The Silent Sanctuary
Thanks to this Uber driver, you can finally doze off, enjoy the cozy backseat, and wander off to dream land to make up for the all-nighter you pulled off last night.
What to expect when you ride his car: A voice calling out “Ma’am, andito na po tayo” after two long hours. <3
10. The Fast And The Furious
If he didn’t have a phone or tablet attached to his dashboard, you’d mistake him for a racecar driver with his speed of 160 kmh, not to mention the abrupt stops and turns that come with his reckless driving. "Kuya, sigurado po bang Uber Black kayo? Para kasing Uber...Race."
What to expect when you ride his car: An MMDA officer stopping in front of your vehicle to reprimand your speed. Oops.