1. Great. Just great. Another Friday night-out with my cheesy friends. Ugh.
2. Noooo waaay! He’s dating her?! WTF?! I’m definitely more awesome than she is!
3. I wonder if she knows that her boyfriend is checking out the wallflower at the office.
4. Hmmm….I wonder if they still have sex. He seems so old!
5. Wow! What a cougar. Her boyfriend can pass as her son already.
6. Why don’t I have a freakin’ hot boyfriend?! I deserve one of my own, dammit!
7. Wasn’t she just dating that other guy last month?
8. I should have just stayed home and listened to this playlist.