1. He never mentions his exes.
Unless you're in high school, or this guy is really shy and introverted, you'd think he'd have racked up at least a few ex-girlfriends. Sure, it'd be in bad taste to bring them up all the time, but zero mention of past relationships is suspect. Even if he's had a few, they seem…fleeting.
2. He's admittedly "not the relationship type."
If there's an undeniable sign on this list, it's this one. This is his way of letting you down gently. You might see it as being "commitment-phobic" but he sees it as just being a free spirit. See also: "not into labels," "just into having fun right now," etc.
3. He travels a lot…maybe too much.
He lives the kind of lifestyle where, even if he wanted to, it'd be impossible for him to fit a relationship in. Maybe he's a jet-setter, or he's just always visiting friends out of town, or has the kind of job where he's never home. No matter the reason, it seems like he's very happy having that buffer there.
4. He finds excuses to avoid doing anything that could be considered a typical date.
Dinner that isn't takeout is off the list. Seeing a movie that isn't on Netflix is out too. And forget ever doing anything with him before 7 p.m.
5. He doesn't even have close friends.
You don't hear much about his social life. It's either because he tries to share as little about himself as possible, or he really can't (or won't) have close relationships of any kind. He could be afraid of commitment, or maybe he just has a sexy and dark secret he doesn't want anyone except the love of his life to find out once she finally tears down the emotional walls he's built up. PRO TIP: It is never the "sexy and dark secret." Ever.
6. He dodges anything that could be considered a relationship milestone.
He doesn't want to meet your parents or friends that would vet him for you. He'll never leave a toothbrush at your place or come visit you at work. He does not want to do anything that would make it seem like the relationship is making progress, because in his mind, there is no relationship.
7. He avoids staying overnight.
He tries to sneak out early in the morning, way before you could even offer up the idea of going to brunch together. If you try to get him to stay, he mumbles some excuse about having to be up early or not being able to sleep when he's not at home. Then he slips out the door while you're still rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Or, these guys could just be hiding a lifelong fear of the dark and don't want you to find out.
8. You don't hear from him for days at a time.
He goes from coming over to fool around for five days in a row to completely ghosting you for another three more. Then he acts like nothing happens. You notice it happening more often when things are feeling like they could finally get serious.
9. He's adorable when you're together and frigid when you aren't.
He's the king of mixed signals. He seems into you whenever you hang out, but when you try to get in touch with him, you get one- or two-word responses, or maybe a few half-assed emojis.
10. He avoids bringing you to parties and weddings.
He's casually mentioned events that it sounds like you probably could've tagged along to, but he wanted to go to by himself instead. He's also bowed out of any of your offers to go to similar events. You can take solace in knowing you dodged a bullet though. Do you really want to go to a dumb wedding where you don't know anyone except for one guy who is systematically trying to pretend that he doesn't know you?
11. He laughs you off when you say you want things to get more serious.
He either acts like you're crazy and imagining things, or he reminds you that he said he's not much of a relationship guy. If it's the latter, he has a point. And if you were ever waiting around hoping he'd change his mind on relationships, this is the time to cut ties. If it's the former, he can go fuck himself.
12. He loves sex.
OK, who doesn't love sex? But in this instance, he's pretty much about sex and sex only. Even your not-really-dates just seem to be a means to an end (and to be clear, that end is sex). This guy really just wants a FWB relationship. Which is fine, he just needs to come out and say it. And that's the real "problem" here: If he wants something very casual, and you're hoping things are going to progress, neither one of you will get what you want.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.co.uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.