1. We're practically perfect in every way. Ok, not strictly true. But this is our attainable life goal so any praise and encouragement in that direction will always be welcomed, thank you.
2. We like clean surroundings. So take it as a compliment that we're in a relationship with you. Hey! You're not unhygienic and disgusting! Make sure it stays that way.
3. We're analytical. Not saying we MASSIVELY over-think things but if you come shopping with us and we have to make a decision between a black-fringed tote and a beige-fringed tote, don't expect it to involve any less time and consideration than say, a global peace process talk.
4. We can be quite hard on ourselves. Not sure what's worse: the fact that we genuinely aren't just fishing for compliments, or that we really are this self-critical.
5. We're sensitive souls. We're sobbing maniacs ok??
6. We like attention to detail. Yeah, to YOU it seems like a waste of time spending twenty-five minutes proofreading one Facebook status. But to us it's a thoroughly enjoyable way to ensure a distinct lack of grammar-related public embarrassment.
7. We're loyal and devoted. And therefore the best friend you could ever hope for—unless someone crosses us: we will end you.
8. We're fussy and judgmental. People have to understand that no matter how well they do something (make a cuppa, organize a holiday, paint a room, hey, even open a door) we will always be safe in the knowledge we could have done it better.
9. We're fairly similar to Dumbledore. Not in the beard stakes, thank Christ. But when you take a quick look at our impressive 'pearls of wisdom per words spoken' ratio, you'll see what we mean. You can take that as proof we're ALWAYS RIGHT.
10. Don't expect dirty talk. It's more than our prudish selves can handle, TBH. It's not like we don't want to—we're not actually the virgins our starsign makes us out to be. But telling you how much we want your cock just makes us feel like a bit of a…well, cock.
11. We'll pay our fair share of dinner. Hell, we might even treat you once in a while. All part of that nice generous streak we were born with.
12. We're super modest. Despite the fact that this article proudly boasts our wisdom, loyalty and all round general perfection. Can't help the TRUTH.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.co.uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.