1. You don’t gush about him anymore. Or on the rare times you do talk about him, that excited look in your eyes is gone. It could mean you’ve gotten so used to him, you don’t exactly find him so special anymore.
2. You get annoyed really quickly by anything he does. You don’t know why you’re REALLY annoyed with him when he’s just watching TV or driving or talking to you while out on a date, but you are, and you feel like you want to yell at him to get lost or STFU.
3. You keep starting a fight with him. You’re so up the wall that you can’t help pointing his flaws out, rebutting everything he says, and bringing up the past things he did that hurt you.
4. You talk to him like he’s incompetent. He asks you about your day or which switches in your room will turn on which lights and other little questions. And even if you answer him with the proper words, your tone says, “Of course today was like any other. Why the fuck don’t you even know? Why can’t you get things right?”
5. You don’t look forward to doing or sharing anything with him. You wish something would come up on his end so you guys won’t have to spend the weekend together. You see a full moon, which back then made you wish he were next to you, but now you don’t think of him or you think “Good thing his chin isn’t resting on my goddamn shoulder tonight.”
6. You don’t make time for him anymore. He might be free to go out with you, but you’re purposely not. You keep making excuses like you have to be with your family, you have to work extra hours, you have to clean your room and declutter your closet.
7. You feel tired of him. You’re pretty bummed when you have to spend time with him, and you feel like you have to drag yourself to be with him.
8. You don’t listen to his stories. “Blah blah blah blah boring boring boring ooooh, a cat!”
9. You keep seeing his faults and flaws, and you get disgusted by them. “Like, eww. Is this how he’s been chewing food all this time? Where on earth did this guy come from? Do I chew like that? Hopefully not.”
10. You don’t feel anything when you look at him. Whoaaaaa. He looks the same. He looks handsome. He’s charming. He’s got a beautiful smile. He’s got those googly eyes when he stares at you. But they have no effect on you anymore. They don’t make you smile, let alone make you feel all tingly inside. You’re a cold woman, dead inside, or a robot.
11. You don’t feel like being affectionate with him. You don’t want to hold his hand. You don’t even touch him. Or when you feel like you have to, you just put your arm around his waist. Sex is a chore. Making love? How about watching movies instead?
12. You don’t miss him when you guys are apart. Why would you miss that guy, right?
13. You imagine being with someone else. With anyone and everyone. This and that stranger. Your first ex, your second ex, that guy you had a fling with before you met your guy. And it’s always a happy picture: like laughing together while being all cuddly or being chill and under the covers together.
What to do about it
So you’ve probably fallen out of love if a lot of those points spoke to you. But is it really the end?
1. Ask yourself if you still love him. People DO fall out of love. It’s normal, and it happens when you realize new things about your partner you may not entirely be crazy about. But being in love and love-love are different things. Being in love is a feeling—it’s fleeting. True love is fueled by your choice to be with this guy, because this guy is the one you trust with your life. Just be sure you know the difference between wanting to be with him and wanting to be in a relationship.
2. If you realize that you really don’t and CAN’T love him, leave him. You’re wasting his time and effort on someone who doesn’t deserve it: you. And you’re wasting yours with someone you no longer love. Be fair to yourselves.
3. If you realize that you DO love him, be kind and good again. You probably just went through a phase. Now you can either outright apologize to your guy for being distant or proceed with being the awesome girlfriend that you had been.
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