1. We spend a lot of money on coffee, even when we're broke.
We might complain about having no money, but that won't stop us from spending 100 pesos a day on our premium blend. You can suggest we bring baon to work and tackle our Zara problem, sure. Just never ever suggest we give up our Starbucks habit.
2. You will be judged on your coffee order.
Remember you are what you drink. So be warned that if you order decaf/a frappuccino/a really milky coffee in front of us you might get the side eye.
3. Nothing (and we mean nothing) happens before coffee.
If you're an, erm, morning person bring us a coffee in bed first.
4. Sleep can be a problem.
We know we shouldn't have coffee after dinner, but we shouldn't eat chips or do our makeup on the tube either. So be prepared that the person lying next to you might be wide awake fidgeting for a while.
5. We have headaches a lot.
Coffee addicts often get into a cycle of coffee-deprived headaches which can only be cured by a fresh pot of coffee.
6. On the plus side we are very easy to buy for.
Note: Nespresso machines are the ideal present.
7. If you meet us with a Starbucks in hand we'll think you're so romantic.
"He just gets me you know?"
8. Coffee comedowns are real.
We get angry, we get grumpy, we get jumpy. Yes when we're decaffeinated we are monsters.
9. We wonder why our friends can't be more like Joey, Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, Monica and Chandler.
Not just because they are great friends (which they are), but because they understand that the best place to socialize is a coffee shop.
10. Two words: Stained teeth.
We'll talk about teeth whitening but laugh when our dentist suggests we cut back on the good stuff.
11. You will have to get used to lining up.
Us coffee snobs tend to congregate at pretentious coffee shops where you're stood waiting for at least 10 minutes.
12. We're cheap dates.
Because, well, COFFEE.
13. Carrying a coffee cup is just part of our "look."
Well if it worked for Mary Kate and Ashley, it works for us...
14. Coffee isn't just coffee.
There's a whole WORLD of coffee-based delights out there. Irish coffee, espresso martinis, a glug of Baileys, special seasonal blends, big mugs, red cups, different milk/cream/syrup/caffeine combos, iced... sorry, once we start, it's hard to stop.
15. Don't tell us we've had too much.
It's on the same level as asking us "is it that time of the month?"
16. When it comes to coffee, we can be a little dramatic.
But that doesn't mean we're always total Carrie Bradshaws. Promise.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.co.uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.