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4 Things To Do When You're Falling For A Male Buddy

Turn your relationship from platonic into something more with these Cosmo tips.

So you’ve buddied up with a guy who is cute, smart, and a blast to be with... such a blast that you realize you like-like him. Problem is, he’s happy with you as a platonic pal. Here’s how to escape the love-ya-like-a-sister friend zone and tune him in to your passion potential.

Friend-Zone Fix 1: Show Your Sexy Side

Don’t go overboard on this, but alerting him to the fact that you’re girlfriend material means swapping your workout clothes for girlier gear that amps up your sex appeal (think lipstick and heels), says Liz Kelly, author of Smart Man Hunting. Doing this will remind him that you’re a babe and not a female version of his kabarkadas.

Next, insert a few subtly suggestive comments into your convos, such as “You make me laugh so much, I wish we hung out all the time.” Another strategy: Give him a low-key compliment; for instance, tell him his haircut is hot. “He’ll associate feeling attractive with being around you,” explains Bonnie Jacobson, PhD, author of The Shy Single.

Friend-Zone Fix 2: Set Boundaries

You may want to dish all about your life, but guys tend to fall for women who retain mystery. “Revealing too much makes him less likely to see your love potential,” says Jacobson.

And definitely keep your lust life under wraps. “Spilling guy problems may make you seem desperate,” says Kelly. And if he veers into TMI territory—say he brings up a hookup—change the subject. “You don’t want to be the therapist pal who helps him sort out girl issues,” says Jacobson.

Friend-Zone Fix 3: Clue Him In To Your Compatibility

Point out common interests. When discussing how you both are sports fanatics, for example, nonchalantly say, “Wow, we’re so alike.” Also, spotlight your chemistry by touching him casually—give him a brief hug when you part ways or place your hand on his arm as he’s speaking. “It orients his brain toward the sparks you create,” says Kelly.

Friend-Zone Fix 4: Confess Your Feelings

After several weeks of setting the stage, come clean—sort of. Broach the topic by couching it as someone else’s observation: “My co-worker saw us together and thought we were a couple.”

Ideally, he’ll hint back at your twosome capacity. If he does, follow up with “Could you ever see us going out?” Yep, it’s bold, but you have nothing to lose... and a fab relationship to gain. “The idea may have crossed his mind,” says Kelly. “Many guy-girl friendships have undercurrents of attraction, so there’s a strong chance he feels the way you do.”

Just watch for tip-offs that he’s not interested. If he responds, “I don’t think friends should date,” drop it. But if he doesn’t say much, “he might be so floored by the suggestion that he needs time to process it,” says Jacobson. Now that you’ve laid your cards on the table, let him make the next move.

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