Among women I know, guys who seem really into you and then straight-up stop texting you is happening more and more often, and it is not fun to be on the receiving end of it. Mostly because you usually have no idea why that guy just vanished. Cosmopolitan.com spoke with eight guys to hear the real reasons they'd ghosted women. And most of them are not pretty.
1. "I was going to be out of town for the next three weekends and didn't want to feel restrained from new relationships forming."
"The only girl I've ever ghosted was a girl I met on Tinder. She was beautiful, had great style, and was really fun. While we didn't have the strongest connection, I still enjoyed my time learning about her, her family, and her career. Sadly, we started dating in the middle of the summer and there came a point where I realized that I was going to be out of town for the next three weekends and didn't want to feel like I couldn't date other people during that time. We'd never talked about being exclusive, so I just ghosted her, since it seemed like she wanted a monogamous relationship. I've felt childish and guilty about it ever since. I've tried to apologize to her, but the few times I've seen her around, she wouldn't make eye contact with me, so I just left her alone." —Adam, 25
2. "I just ghosted instead of telling her how annoying she was being."
"This girl I'd been talking to gradually became more and more clingy and needy with me, despite my being clear with her that I wasn't interested in being in a relationship with her. In the end, I just ghosted instead of telling her how annoying she was being." —Jon, 24
3. "By the time I woke up, I already had four messages from her. Four."
"A few years ago I met a girl at a bar, and we had a great conversation and exchanged numbers really quickly. The next morning, she sent me a flood of messages in the span of two hours. So by the time I woke up, I already had four messages from her. Four. "HEYY!! Let's get some whiskey again ;)" "Hey whats up, you want to grab a drink tonight?" "Still hungover?? LOL!" "How about breakfast??" That was enough for me to feel like I had to shut it down, but instead of sending a reply text, I ghosted. She got the message. In retrospect I should've replied sooner, but in this case 'ghosting' got the message across." —Adam, 29
4. "She stuck her fingers in my nostrils in the middle of the bar."
"Recently, I ghosted on a girl because the second date with her was just so awful that I had zero desire to speak with her again. She stuck her fingers in my nostrils in the middle of the bar (as a joke, she claimed) and I could just tell we were on two different pages in terms of our interests. It was such an overwhelming, awful experience that I just wanted to get away from the situation as quickly as possible, so I ghosted her. The other times I've ghosted women, it wasn't that extreme. It usually just boils down to not having a great experience on an early date and deciding to just not move forward and letting that action speak for itself, rather than say anything to the other person." —William, 26
5. "I tried to keep working at it for another three months with her, but when things didn't get any better, I just ghosted her."
"My ex and I had gotten back together, but things still didn't feel right between us. After giving it a second try for over a year, I tried to break it off, but she wouldn't let us break up. I tried to keep working at it for another three months with her, but when things didn't get any better, I just ghosted her. It seemed better than having another awkward conversation that led nowhere." —James, 22
6. "I know most people would say I should have just told her right then and there that I didn't see a future, but those people aren't thinking about how insanely confrontational that could get."
"I met a girl on [dating website] Plenty of Fish and we had really strong conversations. At one point she did say that she was looking for more than just sex, but I told her I had a more "wait and see" approach to getting into a relationship. When we finally met up, we had sex, but I knew nothing more would come of it. Still, while we were cuddling afterward she was trying to make plans with me for us to go get tattoos at the same time. I know most people would say I should have just told her right then and there that I didn't see a future, but those people aren't thinking about how insanely confrontational that could get. So instead I went home, she texted frequently then sporadically, and I haven't talked to her since." —Max, 28
7. "After we slept together, I realized I didn't want a relationship."
"I met a girl on Tinder and we really hit it off. We met up for drinks and the connection was really strong and I really wanted to date her. We dated for a few weeks and even slept together, but after we slept together, I realized I didn't want a relationship. Not just with her, but with anyone. I didn't want to bother to explain to her that I know I said I wanted to be in a relationship but now my plans had changed, so I just stopped responding to her texts and figured she'd get the message." —Derek, 29
8. "My mom didn't like that she was a senior and I was a freshman, so I just never responded to any of her messages."
"I ghosted on a girl in high school. She was super cute and we had made plans via AIM to go see the Jackass movie. Unfortunately, when I told my mom she was a senior (I was a freshman), she said, 'I don't know how I feel about that.' So I just never responded to any of her messages and avoided her in school. It was stupid of me and I feel very bad about it to this day. This marked the beginning of me not taking my mom's advice and not discussing girls with her." —Alan, 28
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.