How To Be Supportive When Your BFF Is Dating A F*ckboy

Keep your mouth shut.
PHOTO: Nick Onken

One of the most irritating things about being a friend is having to give your BFF the same advice every single time that douchebag she’s dating inevitably breaks her heart (again). Before you judge us, let us clear the air by saying that we are all about girl power. It’s true—we need to be there for each other, so as annoying as it is to hear about how “he didn’t call,” you shouldn’t abandon her.

But are you supposed to just sit back and let her make the same mistakes? Yes. That’s exactly what you need to do. Here’s why:

1. She’s an adult. She makes her own decisions.

Unless he’s physically abusive, you have to allow her the space to make her own decisions. As much as you want to keep yelling “YOU DESERVE BETTER!,” it’s her life, and she calls the shots. (She needs to get over him on her own time and at her own pace.)

2. She shouldn’t have to worry about you being mad at her.

Sometimes, when the people we love don’t listen to our ~*sage*~ advice, it’s easy to lash out, and feel neglected. But remember: This isn’t about you. Yes, she asked you for advice, but she probably asked a lot of other people, too. It’s still up top her whose advice she wants to take. Plus, she’s already dealing with the stress he brings into her life…do you really want to add to that? 

3. She probably hasn’t told you the whole story.

Believe it or not, you don’t know every single thing about your BFF. There are some things she hasn’t told you, either accidentally or on purpose. That said, you don’t know the full story of their relationship; you only know what she tells you. Keep that in mind the next time you feel like punching him.

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4. She was there for you when you were the one stuck in a toxic relationship.

Remember when you were the one dating an asshole? 'Cause she does. If she got you through that, you can get her through this. It’s easy for you to see him for what he truly is—a dick—but remember that she has love goggles on right now. Just be patient, and keep your judgy mouth shut until you can talk about him in retrospect.

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