Like so many of us, comedian Arantza Fahnbulleh understands how tiring it can be to do trial and error with fuckboy after fuckboy while trying to find Prince Charming, so she's treating the dating game the way it should be treated—less like a game and more like a hiring process.
First, she sent out the PSA that a job opening for her next boyfriend had become available on Instagram. It's cuffing season after all and she's excited to be filling this role in the near future, clearly:
Then she created a very straightforward and to-the-point application, explaining on Twitter that all applicants should "fill out all forms with tape attached." Get to it, y'all!
It didn't take long for applications to start rolling in, like this guy who says he can supply "references and recommendations" upon request:
Or this guy, who dropped in his height for a competitive edge:
But my money's on the overachiever who made an entire video application:
Arantza told BuzzFeed that the application process was about taking control of the dating game, a move inspired by a guy she was interested in who wasn't proactive enough. She's not sure how serious the applicants are, but her and her friends are doing "background checks here at Arantza Inc." to confirm their intentions.
And she's looking for more than just a regs boyfriend or bae: She's looking for a "daddy," as she puts it. "Your daddy wants you to win and see you shine! And you're always learning something from him, that's why he's your daddy. It has nothing to do with his age or finances (but a good income is a plus!) He's just always there to support, encourage, and challenge you to be your best," she explained.
So far, applications are still open, but Arantza says those applying are free to mention their "girth and size" if they want to put their application at the top of the pile, FYI. It's unclear how human resources at Arantza Inc. feel about that but it's probably fine!
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.