Why enter a complicated relationship when all you want is sex? Because #RealTalk, maybe some of us just need temporary warmth. In which case, look for a FuBu, or as polite society calls them, "friends with benefits." It's a kind of engagement that's low on commitment and high on desire-fulfillment. It's not for everyone, but maybe it's for you.
Now, if you think fuck buddy only works in movies, you're wrong. A lot of people are open to this kind of set up. You're not the only one who doesn't want commitment right now. Below are the nine things you've got to keep in mind when you're trying to find a sex-friend and maintain a relationship—if you can call it that—with him:
1. Identify your target.
Look out for the mindset and attitude of guys. Is he looking for fun or something more serious? Is he open to the idea of a sex-only relationship or is he a firm believer in exclusive post-marriage coitus? It's about aligning yourself with someone with the same set of needs.
2. Ask and explain directly.
Once you feel like he shares the same beliefs regarding romance, the surest way to get a fuck buddy is to directly ask him. Tell him the kind of relationship you're trying to pursue here, and ask him if it's something he agrees with. That's the only way you can really be sure that the sex will be consensual.
3. Set boundaries.
Before you become "official," you have to set rules in order to be clear with your role in each other's lives. Is there a "don't ask, don't tell" policy? Can you add each other on Facebook? Do your mutual friends have to know? This keeps things from getting messier than usual.
4. Don't share personal info.
Why would you? It sounds cold, but for this sort of relationship to work, you might want to NOT talk about your favorite movie, first love, family dramas and everything in between. Because those things set you and him up for, erm, feelings. In this setup, your only obligation is to pick up the phone when he feels that need.
5. No cuddling.
Don't cuddle after having sex. Or do you want to develop feelings for him?
6. Always use protection.
You don't want to get pregnant or get STDs, do you?
7. Be distant.
Just be nice enough that he won't have to hate you or something. Avoid sending sweet text messages like "Good morning!" or "Kumain ka na ba?" Long story short, you have to limit your interaction outside the bedroom.
8. Always be ready for endings, and not the happy sort.
Don't expect closure. This kind of relationship is fun but it's inherently fleeting, and it usually ends by the time he finds The One.
(Can't that person be you? Sure, but it's not always a smooth transition.)
9. You can see other guys.
It's a perk of such a setup and a way to avoid getting overly attached. Mr. Right NOW may be fun to be with but in real life, things rarely end like Friends With Benefits or No Strings Attached.
At the same time, accept that he can also see other girls.
This story originally appeared on FHM.com.ph.
* Minor edits have been made by Cosmo.ph editors.