It’s easy to tell when you’ve got the hots for someone, but it can be harder to figure out whether he likes you back, especially if you’ve been friends or associates for a long time or you are new acquaintances. And not all of us are willing to make our own interest plain if there’s a big chance the people we like might not reciprocate our feelings.
If you’re struggling with this dilemma, don’t worry—you’re not alone, if the hugot in many love poems and songs is anything to go by! But don’t stew in unrequited agony. Why not do a little sleuthing to see if the guy you’re crushing on is crushing on you too? Keep reading for some telltale signs of his interest.
He makes and maintains eye contact.
Do you often catch him looking your way, even when you are with other people? Does he meet your eyes when the two of you are talking, and does he watch your eyes and face while speaking to you? It is likely he is paying close attention not just because he likes looking at you, but also because he wants to get a better sense of your reactions and your emotions as you converse.
He keeps close.
Proximity alert! If he finds excuses to stay within your vicinity when you are with others or leans into your space when you’re talking, he could definitely be interested. Of course, someone who constantly invades your personal space is something to guard against, but if he sticks close without hovering, it could mean that he really just wants to be close to you—in an emotional sense as well as a physical one.
He asks you questions.
Guys out to impress or who are more interested in women as accessories or temporary conveniences are more likely to talk themselves up. But a guy who is genuinely interested in you will be interested in you, meaning he’ll want to learn more about you. And as you’re the best source of information about yourself, you might just find he wants to know more about you than can be found on your social media profile. Just remember that if you’re interested in him too, it’s a good opportunity to ask him the same kinds of questions.
He listens to what you have to say—and remembers what you’ve told him.
A guy who is genuinely into you won’t just ask about your interests and life; he’ll listen to you when you talk about these things, and likely ask followup questions based on what you tell him. Apart from that, he will remember what you’ve told him and might comment on it if you bring it up again. Maybe he’ll even act on it—for example, if you mention your love for Japanese food, maybe next time you guys go out, he’ll suggest a sushi or ramen restaurant.
He finds excuses to touch you.
And we don’t necessarily mean in a sexual way or in something out of a romance novel like holding you close as you slow dance. This could manifest as pecks on the cheek, touches to the hand or arm, hugs, or brushing shoulders. Maybe he’ll offer to brush something out of your hair or tuck it away from your face. If he touches you more often than is usual—and if he touches you more than he does other women he is friends with—it could be a solid indicator of interest.
He acts and sounds nervous.
Think of how you are with a person you’re crushing on yourself. If he’s really into you, he might seem ill at ease when interacting withyou. Does he stutter when speaking or frequently defer to you? Does he shift his weight from foot to foot or use nervous hand gestures? Does this kind of behavior ramp up when you show him special attention? And while eye contact is a way to gauge interest, if he’s acting nervous, difficulty meeting your eyes might actually be one sign he’s crushing on you too.
He compliments you—on more than your looks.
It’s simple enough to compliment someone on something that’s on the outside—their looks, their clothing, their overt behavior. But try and see if he compliments you on things that are only noticeable when you talk about them or through close observation. What these compliments will be will depend on you and him, but it could be anything from admiring how you’re a good friend or your care for your family to your sense of humor or your intelligence.
He mimics you.
Mirroring is another strong sign a guy is interested in you, and it often not something a person does consciously. Does he start using language similar to yours? He might start using some of your favorite phrases or copying your language quirks. Does he mirror your body language? Does he get excited or exhibit high energy levels when you do? When you’re relaxed, does he relax as well? For example, if you grab coffee at your favorite café and you’re leaning back or forward in your chair facing him, does he mimic your position?
His face does the talking for him.
If you think a guy likes you but aren’t sure, watch the expressions on his face when the two of you interact. Does he smile more often? And does he smile with his eyes? Is his gaze focused on yours and do his facial expressions show him reacting to what you say or do? This means you have his attention. Does he frequently lick his lips when he’s with you?
He interacts with you on multiple levels.
The ubiquitous nature of social media and messaging apps means that it’s more than likely the two of you are communicating through one medium or another (if not multiple ways). So examine how the two of you communicate. Does he frequently touch base with you, and for no other reason than to see how you’re doing, ask about your day, or just let you know he’s thinking about you? Does he share funny memes he thinks you’ll enjoy? Does he converse with you above and beyond a need-to-know basis? How often and how well he stays in contact could mean that out of sight definitely does not mean out of mind.