Cosplay: Literally "Costume Play." Dressing up and pretending to be a fictional character (usually from sci-fi, comic books, or anime).
If you’ve ever dated a cosplayer, then you know these things to be true:
1. You have Googled the dictionary definition of “Cosplay.” So you can fully explain to your parents that no, he is not like a Jollibee mascot, and yes, there is an entire universe of cosplayers around the world. It’s really a “thing,” mom. Promise.
2. You have had an internal struggle with fully embracing it at one point in your life. Because you know, it might just be a phase. And he might outgrow it. NOPE. HAHAHAHA.
3. You attempted to watch the ‘90s shows of the stuff he cosplays. And you never lasted past episode 2. Sorry, Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger. Can we watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians instead?
4. He has more than one cosplay suit. He can be a Super Sentai one day, and a Stormtrooper the next. When he’s feeling it, he is a Ninja Turtle. Oh, he was Spider-Man once.
5. Halloween is EVERYTHING. IT IS A BIG EVENT, you guys. With costume changes and pictorials and a fixed itinerary. It’s basically Christmas for cosplayers.
6. He has tattoos. It's adorable because you think he’s badass, but then you realize that his tats are all about Star Wars. Aww. Geeks rule!
7. You go through your laundry and see a black bikini bottom in size large. Then when you tell him that it’s not yours, and the laundry place probably mixed up your clothes, he says, “Oh! Babe, that’s mine. It’s called a ‘dancer’s belt.’ I use it for crotch support.”
Which leads me to:
8. Spandex. Spandex EVERYWHERE. He probably wears custom helmets that cost an anniversary buffet dinner for two at Sofitel, and he matches them with more spandex costumes that need to be hand washed, so they don’t shrink and show even more than what they are already showing. Which is a LOT.
9. He has probably shopped for butt pads. Like I said: Spandex is unforgiving.
10. He has inquired about your Spanx. But he realized he couldn’t breathe in them, so he totally ditched the idea.
11. People ask if you cosplay in bed. Do you have any idea how complicated it is to make out in spandex?!
12. He has asked you to cosplay with him. Your custom made Pink Ranger helmet is on standby, but you use delaying tactics, because you are secretly planning to wear it as bargaining power when you REALLY want something from him. #strategy
13. You have a toy shelf. His Power Ranger helmets and action figures are on rotation. Sometimes he displays Blue Ranger, and some days, it’s Green Ranger. If you didn’t have a shelf for his collection, then they’d be EVERYWHERE. Tip: Negotiate so you can have an equal number of shelf space each.
14. If he has a YouTube channel where he uploads his cosplay skits, you see him in front of a laptop the whole day. His excuse? He’s editing videos! He’s working! He’s making MONEEEEY!
15. You always have to explain what exactly he does for a living. Because otherwise people will think that he is slacking off, just because his work sounds like so much fun. It’s just uploading a bunch of videos on YouTube and hitting “Publish,” right? Reality: It’s much more complicated than that. He writes, directs, edits videos, and networks on a daily basis. He even got signed by Maker Studios, a company under Disney that manages the most popular YouTubers in the world. Yes, a company signing YouTube Creators, that's a thing. It’s work, y’all.
16. People ask you if you're into cosplaying as well. Answer: Not at all! You actually love how opposite the two of you are. You will never run out of things to talk about!
17. He keeps you young. There you are, all stressed with your corporate job, then he says, “Watch this video, boo, it is the absolute funniest.” Then you see him morphing into a Power Ranger and saving the world in spandex. And all is right again. :)
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