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Aww, JM De Guzman Shares That He Once *Went Crazy* After Loving His Ex-GF Too Much

'[Siya] na ‘yung gusto kong mahalin araw-araw. Tapos biglang mawawala.'
JM De Guzman
PHOTO: Instagram/1migueldeguzman
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TW: self-harm

There’s no going around it: breakups suck! And while plenty of people can move forward with grace, others freely admit to feeling like their hearts were being ripped into shreds—and both instances are *totally* valid. In fact, even celebrities are not immune to the pain brought by heartbreak! Take, for instance, JM De Guzman, who got candid about ~*losing himself*~ when he broke up with an ex-lover.

“When I was younger, masyado akong impulsive and hindi pinapairal ang utak,” he shared in an interview. “Sobra akong magmahal na nakakalimutan ko ang sarili ko. Marami rin consequences. Pero marami akong natutunan na realidad sa experience ko sa sarili ko.

He admitted that he spiraled down after a breakup, “I really went crazy because of love. Bata pa ako noon. Pero parang nasa level ka na ng ‘Sh**, ito na ang gusto kong pakasalan at gusto kong makasama habangbuhay.'

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“Ito na ‘yung gusto kong mahalin araw-araw. Tapos biglang mawawala. Masakit, masakit sobra. Parang hindi mo alam kung saan mo ibabaling ang pagmamahal na para sa kanya. Sa sobrang sakit, nag-self-destruct ako.

JM De Guzman
Instagram/1migueldeguzman

Yun ang naging tendencies ko bilang isang lover. I tend to hurt myself, to destroy myself, to destroy my career. Lahat ng maabot ng kamay ko sisirain ko, sasaktan ko.

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He clarified that he didn’t resort to abusing others, but he did try to harm his own self. “Hindi ako nananakit. Sarili ko lang. Umabot ako sa point na gano’n. The consequences came. Hindi na ako nabibigyan ng work. I was rehabilitated. Natanggal lahat ng privileges ko.

The experience led him to change himself for the better, and appreciate the simple things in life. “From the simple cellphone, ilang years, wala ako noon. TV, newspaper, wala ako lahat niyan for four years. Doon ko na-realize ‘yung mga simpleng bagay na kailangan kong ma-appreciate, what more ‘yung mga blessings na maraming nagke-crave, pero sinasayang ko lang.

“I had many regrets, pero siyempre, hanggang nabibigyan ako ng pagkakataon, bawi lang ako ng bawi.

Right now, JM shares that he is okay and choosing to face life head-on. “Life goes on. Marami pa ring challenges. The challenges don’t stop. They keep coming. I just have to face them head-on every day. I have to be wiser and stronger every day.”

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We’re rooting for you, JM!

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