Relationships should be based on truth, and partners are advised to always be honest with each other. But there are exceptions to the rule, if you think about it. Your partner doesn't need to know how far you went with your ex or how crazy you were about him, even if he asked you. He also doesn't need to know that a bunch of guys hit on you when you went out with your girl friends.
So when is it okay, if not good, to tell a lie? And when is it absolutely wrong?
A research called "Effects of Deception in Social Networks" states there are two types of lies. The bad or negative one is the lie you tell to cover up your mistakes, meaning they're told for selfish reasons. The good or positive one is the lie you tell (or the truth you keep to yourself) to avoid creating conflict among people or to keep people together. An example of a bad lie would be to deny that you cheated on your guy, because you're covering up your mistake and being selfish in not wanting to lose your guy who clearly doesn't deserve to be with you anymore. An example of a good lie is to say you weren't crazy in love with your ex when you were together.
Still, there are times when things can get confusing and you don't know if you should lie (a bit or completely) or just not say anything at all. Here are some instances when it's definitely okay to lie to your partner:
1. When you don't like something he gave you. It just goes against good social conduct to express that you dislike something someone gave you. Especially when you know that person put thought and effort in getting the gift.
2. When you tell him to have fun. You might be passive aggressive when you tell him to have fun and actually mean that you wish he didn't have fun. But it's important to know that as the girlfriend, someone who loves him, you should be able to set aside your own feelings and be able to wish him well. Not everything is and should be about you.
3. When he asks you about your ex. A little white lie would save him from devastation. You wouldn't want him to think you're comparing him with your ex, right?
4. When he asks you about your sex life before you got with him. It's important to be honest about whether or not you're active, if you've had or currently have an STD/STI. The latter is especially serious stuff, and he should be aware of that to keep himself from contracting it. But when it comes to your sex life being wild or steamy, how and where you've hooked up with people—keep them to yourself. Or else you'll hurt him. (It's a natural reaction.)
5. When he tells you about his female friends, and you pretend like you don't know about them. He doesn't need to know you've spent your nights stalking all of them that you know where they went to high school, where they work, how they look like.
6. That you don't like his friends and family. You can tell him you don't feel this guy friend of his or you get the bad vibes from this girl friend; it might make your bond closer in some way. But if you'd rather keep those to yourself, that's okay too. As for his family, though, steer clear of creating bad blood and any hints of negativity.
7. When you're planning a surprise birthday party for him. Because you need to lie to make the surprise happen.
Otherwise, you and your guy are better off with the truth.
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