To My Future Boyfriend

You are the reason it never worked out with any of them.

I’m really excited to meet you.

Not because I’m recently single and looking to get over my last boyfriend as soon as possible, although that’s one of the reasons, ha ha, but mostly because I think you’re going to be awesome.

At this point, I’ve already gone through enough heartache to know what traits in a partner I like and what I don’t, what quirks and behaviors I can put up with, and what I can’t.

I’m a little worried about how I’m going to spot you, because now I know that I’m going to have to go against my type to be with you.

I’ve always dated a certain type of guy—smart, creative, kind of emotionally unavailable—but obviously, that type has never worked in my favor. So I’m guessing you’ll be nothing like that, or at least considerably different from that, which worries me: How will I know it’s you? Will you look a certain way for me to be attracted? Will you make a funny joke or mention a pop culture reference to hook me in? Will I write you off at the start just because you’re nothing like the guys I used to date? I hope not.

And this I wish I knew: Have we met? Are we friends on Facebook? If we are, I hope you noticed that I’m single now, that the pictures of him and me are gone, that I don’t post anything tagging him anymore because we’re not even friends anymore. We’re not anything anymore.

In case we haven’t met yet, I hope I make a strong enough impression on you once we do for you to add me on Facebook. Follow me on Instagram. Get my number. Ask me out. Because I want you to get to know me already.

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You’ll be delighted to discover that I’m funny, and intelligent, and passionate, and I get along well with everyone, and I’m a great kisser. (I’m also great in bed, but I’ll let you find that out along the way.)

And more importantly, I want you to know the not-so-great stuff about me. Like, I despair easily. I cry at the drop of a hat. I’m wishy-washy. I’ve got my head in the clouds. I have trouble imagining my future and working towards it. Some of these things have led past boyfriends to give up on the relationship—to give up on me—so I’m kind of worried that you won’t stick around through all of them, either.

But if you do, if you love me enough to stick around through all of these things without giving up, I will shower you with all the love I have in me. I’ll be the best girlfriend. I’ll let you hang out with the boys when you want to, and schedule time with the girls so you don’t feel guilty about it. I’ll get to know your family, and be your willing date to family gatherings where I’m sure to be scrutinized from head to toe. I’ll get off your back when you’re busy with work, even when I’m dying to send you silly memes I find on social media. I’ll look at you with a smitten look that will let everyone know that I think you are THE BOMB and I’m so lucky I get to call you my guy. I’ll finally be able to do for you what I have held back in doing for the men who came before you, because you are the one who will draw it out of me.

You are the reason it never worked out with any of them: because I had to meet you, and fall in love with you, and be a better partner because of you.

Of course, it’s probably too soon for us to date. It’s only been a few weeks since my last relationship ended, and I’m still kind of a mess. To be honest, I still disappear off to the office restroom for a quick cry every now and then. But you know what? I still want to meet you. Only so I can start feeling hopeful again. We won’t even have to date right away. Just, you know, be around.

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Keep an eye out for me, will you? I’ll do the same for you.

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