What’s The Worst Pick-Up Line You Ever Got?

Prepare to roll your eyes.
PHOTO: Alexa Miller

“It was Halloween in a club at The Fort many years ago. A guy went up to me and said, ‘How’s your Halloween so far?’ I replied, ‘It’s okay, nothing great yet.’ Then he said, ‘What are you talking about? You already met me!’" -Girlie, 29

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“I met this guy through common friends. He seemed really nice and friendly in the beginning. Then he started getting flirty and asked me, ‘What color of underwear are you wearing?’ I was so weirded out! And because it’s a small world, I soon found out through other girls that he uses this pickup line all the time.” -Tanya, 24

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“At a bar, this guy approached me and said, ‘I have cats. They’re like my kids, so I should be okay with your kids.’ Looks like the guy did his research because I do have kids. I just laughed and said, ‘Okay,’ but my thought bubble was, ‘WTF, weirdo!’”-Belle, 32

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“Many years ago, this sleazy reality TV show called Keys To The VIP was such a hit because it taught guys how to pick up girls in a club. Well, I went to a bar where this guy tried to pick me up using a blow-by-blow strategy from one episode of Keys To The VIP. I was buying myself a beer when he approached me subtly from the side so as not to look creepy (step 1), and asked a random question that entails a long answer to keep me from leaving (step 2). ‘Excuse me, I have a question,’ he said. ‘Why is it okay for a girl to kiss another girl in a club, but it’s not okay if her boyfriend kisses another guy?’ I humored him and replied, ‘I guess because if a guy does it, it means he’s gay and that’s a deal breaker, but when it’s a girl, we sometimes do it just for fun and it doesn’t necessarily mean we’re lesbian.’ He followed up with a subtly sexual question that is supposed to make me blush and hook me for the night (step 3), ‘So does that mean you’ve made out with a girl just for fun?’ I already watched this episode, so I found it pathetic. He wasn’t my type and I wanted to get rid of him, so I said no and left. -Kate, 35


“At a bar, a guy approached me and said, ‘I heard you love your career. I want to be a houseband. Can I apply?’ I turned my back without replying.”-Aisa, 26

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“I was a regular at this bar, so I treated it like my second home. One night, the club was about to close and people were starting to leave. I was tipsy from taking too many shots, so I found an empty couch and flopped to rest before rejoining my friends. Then a guy saw me and said, O, ba’t nag-iisa ka dyan?’ He sat too close to me and started getting touchy-feely. Thank goodness one of my guy friends saw me and rescued me from the pervert.” -Rose, 24

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“It was in Boracay. I met a guy who gave me these three pickup lines: 1.) ‘Ganda ng kilay mo. Bagay sa mata mo.’ I replied, ‘Haha, thank you!’ 2.) Nag-braces ka ba?’ I said, ‘Huh? Hindi, bakit?’ His reply: ‘Pantay kasi ngipin mo.’ 3.) ‘Uy, walang moon, puro stars lang. May ibig sabihin ito…. Tayo-tayo…’ Then he kissed me. I kissed back, and then stopped because I realized, ‘Yuck! He’s 10 years older than me and I don’t like him naman!’” -Lou, 27

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 “I’ve heard all the classics, such as ‘Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?’ and ‘I lost my number, can I have yours?’ Whenever I get these lines, I just laugh and walk away. You never get a girl with a pick-up line like that in a club!” -Pat, 28

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“I was the new girl at the office. My officemate, Mac, was in his mid-’30s and a bit douche-y. The entire office was required to attend the wedding of the CEO’s daughter. At the reception, I got a text from him: ‘Wow, is that you in the gold dress?’ followed by ‘I can’t wait to see that dress up close.’ I avoided him at all costs, left the reception early, and made sure we never crossed paths again.” -Cathy, 25

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“I was new in Manila, so I didn’t know that this certain resto in Greenbelt is known for its foreign customers, their lady friends, and pimps on standby. I found myself in that restaurant while waiting for my boyfriend when one of the waiters went up to me and said, ‘Excuse me, are you alone? My friend wants to meet you.’ Then he pointed to a group of foreigners sitting at another table. They looked gross. ‘No, I’m waiting for my boyfriend,” I said. He looked at me like I was lying. Around 30 minutes later, my boyfriend was running late, so the waiter approached me again and said, ‘Are you sure you have a boyfriend? Maybe you don’t really have one. Come on, my friend wants to meet you.’ They all started laughing. I was so pissed, so I called my friend who explained to me about the red-light culture that happens in that area. Needless to say, I left and never went back to that place.” -May, 27

Visit Kate on KateWasHere.com and follow her on Instagram and Twitter.


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