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12 Sexy Things From Movies And TV That Are Not Sexy IRL

They've been lying to us.

We've all seen steamy scenes in movies and on TV, and we have to admit, they look pretty darn HOT. But when we attempt to do them in real life, the results are unflattering, uncomfortable, gross, or worse, like something straight out of a comedy. (But then again, maybe it just takes practice to get these done right. LOTS OF PRACTICE.)

1. Too much lipstick

How do those movie heroines manage to pile on such a bright red lip without smearing it all over their kissing partner like a crime scene? Plus, we know what lipstick tastes like, and we can’t imagine it tastes delicious for dudes. (Sorry, guys.)

 

2. Wearing a thong

These skimpy babies may make your ass look sexy AF, but walking around with a wedgie isn’t exactly the most comfortable feeling in the world. And while we’re on the subject, we hope you’re aware of the infection risks thongs present for your vag.

3. Going commando

HOT: Feeling like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct when heading out in a dress or skirt sans panties. NOT HOT: Endlessly worrying that the slighest breeze will whip your skirt up and reveal your completely nekkid lady parts for all the world to see.

4. The wet look

Don't let the movies fool you: When those actresses rise like underwater goddesses from a pool, they've got people to make sure their makeup stays put and every wet strand’s in place. When we do it, we're like Sadako emerging from the well. (Kidding. Or not.)


5. The sexy workout look

Sexy is not exactly the first thing that comes to mind when we parade our baskil post-workout selves. We’ll need a shower first before we can even get in that state of mind. 

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6. Dirty talk

If you overdo it—you naughty, naughty girl—it could be a total buzzkill. To make your dirty talk sound more natural and not like you’re auditioning for a role in a porno, check out these tips.

7. Performing a striptease

Think you can pull this off without being paralyzed by self-consciousness? Thought so.

8. Sex on the beach

The danger of getting sand all up in your vajayjay is real. Those little buggers get in EVERYTHING.

9. Sex standing up

Unless your guy has biceps like Thor’s and he can hold you up throughout the entire act, IT’S JUST TOO DAMN HARD.

10. Shower sex

Aside from water washing away the natural lubrication you need to enjoy sex, let’s be real here: Logistically speaking, shower sex is pretty much impossible.

11. Kissing in the rain

Hey, we love that kiss from The Notebook as much as the next girl, but it can’t be that sexy if you’re freezing wet down to your underwear at the same time.

12. Kissing after waking in the morning

Hold up: HAS ANYONE BRUSHED THEIR TEETH YET?! If not, eww. 

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