“I was completely destroyed when my brother passed away,” the Ulan actress admitted. “It was super sudden kasi. [Just the day before the suicide] I was even asking him how he was, if he wanted to come over, we could watch a movie.”
Nadine still isn’t over the loss. “As his big sister, I was blaming myself. The whole family—we were all blaming ourselves. We could have saved him, we could have done something. Sana I nagged him a bit more to open up to me.”
It was only after her brother passed away did Nadine discover he was suffering from depression. She found his blog, where he wrote about feeling empty and confused. “He was going through a lot based on what he was writing, but he never opened up to us,” Nadine said.
She then admitted that in 2015 and 2016, she also struggled with depression and was “a little bit suicidal.” That was the time she “started realizing everything was changing” for her. “My life became different in one snap. There was pressure. I was really insecure. I had a lot of issues with myself. I didn’t know who I was. I was so lost.”
Nadine explained that her depression was likely because she didn’t appreciate what she had. “It was always me not being able to sleep, me always working. I was getting anxiety all the time.”
She then said boyfriend James Reid has helped her cope. “It’s not just because we're in love. He’s also going through things. Kaming dalawa, nagtulungan kami. Every time I get really bad anxieties, I would call him, he would talk to me. He would just enlighten me and tell me it’s going to be okay.”
In a previous interview, Nadine shared that she can’t imagine life without James. “I’m really, really thankful that he came into my life. It was so different before. He was the biggest instrument for my healing and [self-discovery].”
If someone you know is suicidal or depressed and you’d like to help, click here.
If you are suicidal or are experiencing symptoms of depression, know that there is help and hope. You may call the following hotlines:
Crisis Line (for non-sectarian, non-judgmental telephone counseling):
Landline: (02) 893-7603
Globe Duo: 0917-8001123 / 0917-5067314
Sun Double Unlimited: 0922-8938944 / 0922-3468776
Center for Family Ministries (for spiritual counseling):
Landline: (02) 426-4289 to 92
Online resources for depression and suicide prevention: