Drop Everything Because There's A New Daddy In 'Riverdale'

Well hello, Sheriff Keller.
PHOTO: Riverdale/Warner Bros. Television Distribution

For weeks now, I've been telling my Riverdale-watching cohorts that I thought Sheriff Keller might be hot. No, they said. You're just dealing with residual Sheriff Hopper attraction. Sheriff Keller is just a dad, they said. Not a daddy. F.P. Jones is a daddy. Sheriff Keller, not so much.

But I am pleased to report that I have now been vindicated. On this week's episode, Sheriff Keller removed his sheriff shirt to reveal a six-pack and biceps the size of K.J. Apa's head. Blessed are those who wait for the lord!

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While spending the night at Kevin's in a transparent attempt to catch Sheriff Keller in the act of being the Black Hood, Veronica wandered into the Kellers' basement to find out what kind of murder weapons the sheriff might be storing down there. She quickly found out that the only guns he had on hand were his arms, which, as mentioned, are ~*huge*~. "I didn't know you worked out so much, Mr. Keller," says Veronica, clearly wishing she was about 10 years older. "Archie Andrews, watch your back."

Sheriff Keller—does he have a first name?—clearly didn't buy Veronica's claim that she was just looking for a soda, but he gave her one and popped the top with his bare hands anyway. He also answered her vaguely prying questions about his missing wife (she's stationed in Bahrain with Navy) and smiled politely when she said weird stuff about getting hard, but never bothered to put on a shirt because I can only assume he was looking out for the good people watching at home.

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Later, Betty and Veronica followed the sheriff when he snuck out in the middle of the night, but it turned out he wasn't going to do murder stuff—he was just going to a hotel to have an affair with Mayor McCoy. Boring! But that Mayor McCoy is a lucky lady. 

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.

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