Literally so sorry, but Brad Pitt has a new girlfriend and it’s neither Jennifer Aniston nor is it [insert your name here]. Instead, Brad is dating Nicole Poturalski and they’re currently vacationing in his personal castle. You know, the one he owns with Angelina Jolie? Yeah.
I think we can all agree that Brad and Nicole’s relationship is all-caps NEWS, especially considering that the internet has spent the past few years speculating about Mr. Pitt dating everyone from JenAn to Arrested Development actress Alia Shawkat to jewelry designer Sat Hari Khalsa. But nope! Turns out he’s been out here casually castle-hopping with Nicole (potentially for the past nine months!), and the time has come to do a deep dive on your competition. In other words: WHOMST IS SHE?
SHE’S A 27-YEAR-OLD GERMAN MODEL, THAT’S WHOMST
And let’s just go ahead and say what we’re all thinking: She looks like a young Angelina Jolie.
While you might not have heard of Nicole before now, she’s been very successful independent of any BP affiliation. Like, she was on the cover of Elle Germany’s September 2020 issue.
HER DREAM IS ~VISITING THE FUTURE~
Nicole has done approximately zero interviews and her Instagram is pretty much just model shots, but after a truly frightening amount of googling, I did manage to scrounge up a downright inspiring musing from her modeling profile! In response to being asked what her ultimate superpower would be, Nicole said…
“Traveling in time so I can visit all those amazing and historic events myself, including the future.”
I mean, I, too, would love to visit the future if it involves getting the f*ck out of this hell year, so very much same, Nicole!
SHE REPORTEDLY SPEAKS FIVE LANGUAGES
Including the language of love, hahahahahaha ugh sorry.
SHE HAS A SON FROM A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP
Nico (she goes by Nico, btw) is pretty private about her personal life, but apparently, she has a little boy and he pops up on her Instagram every now and then—sometimes dressed as Santa, always looking cute.
SHE HINTED AT HER RELATIONSHIP WITH BRAD BACK IN FEBRUARY
The Daily Mail recently revealed that Brad and Nico have potentially been dating for about nine months without anyone noticing—which means they were together in February 2020. Which also means Brad is presumably the person who took this photo (peep the caption):
SHE HAS A TINY TATTOO
I’m going to assume this is somehow a reference to Brad until told otherwise and no one can stop me, bye!
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.