1. The one with the new profile picture.
What better way to ring in the New Year than with a banging new look, presented to the world via a perfectly composed, expertly filtered profile pic? Let the Facebook “like” barrage begin! *fireworks*
2. The one with the sweet couple photo. (Bonus points if it announces a—YAY!—engagement.)
These couple shots often come with cute captions or drippy declarations that serve to show the world just how solid the love pair is as they enter the new year with linked arms and loving smiles. (Not pictured: The hearts of those without an S.O. breaking in tiny increments as they look on.)
3. The one with the inspirational quote.
Usually by Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, Coco Chanel, Eleanor Roosevelt, or some other famous dead person who can’t possibly know what it’s like to be a woman rn, but whose words are still so spot-on, it hurts.
4. The one that says "New Year, new me!"
It’s hard to believe that line anymore when the people who’ve been blurting it out on social media year after year haven’t changed one bit since you’ve known them. Here’s an idea: Be a “new you” because you know you want to or have to, not because the calendar switch compels you to.
5. The one about losing weight/eating healthier/getting in shape.
At the start of the year, expect to see some friends turn into total health and fitness fiends, documenting their journey with snaps of paleo meals and unappetizing juices and gym photos taken at ungodly hours of the day. A few months into the year, expect to see those posts just…vanish. Like a bubble. BECAUSE PIZZA AND SLEEP ARE STILL THE BEST, YOU GUYS.
6. The one about quitting smoking and/or drinking.
Keeping such a daunting resolution seems doable for these so-called quitters…until a major work stress or personal drama comes along, and soon they’re scrambling to get their hands on the nearest ciggie. “One stick lang,” they say. Deep down, they know it’s a LIE.
7. The one about seeing the world and going on more ~*aDvEnTuReS*~.
Maybe make it a resolution to be better at handling your money first before vowing to see the world and go on more ~*aDvEnTuReS*~?
8. The one about moving on, presumably from a former love.
Some people boldly declare this resolution in a public venue (i.e. social media), where common friends, acquaintances, maybe even the former love in question are bound to see it. How about ditch the patama posts and just…move on?
9. The one about owning 2019.
That’s all well and good, but if everyone and their grandma declares that 2019 is going to be “MY year,” then who really owns it? Just kidding.
10. The one about spending less time on social media…
…proudly announced via Facebook status, tweet, Tumblr entry, Instagram photo, and Snapchat video. Ano pang ginagawa mo dito?!
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