1. "You're so quiet." I know. Society makes me feel self-conscious enough about this already; do you really have to point it out as though it's a flaw? I just speak when I have something of value to say.
2. "You just don't have a warm personality." Or: "So-and-so is warm. You can learn from her." It takes some of us a while to open up to people. Just because it's not in my nature to be BFFs with everyone as soon as I meet them, that doesn't mean I'm not interested in getting to know people.
3. "You never speak up around my friends/parents/[other group of people who is relatively new to your life]." Actually, I do, I just only do so when I have something to say or after I feel like I've had time to connect with new people.
4. "My friends think you don't like them." I like your friends, I just don't click with them as well as you since I've only just met them.
5. "Don't be so shy." There's nothing wrong with being shy! If it doesn't interfere with my ability to get things done, it's not something that should concern you.
6. "Why don't you smile more?" Because when people order you to smile, like you're a child, it doesn't make them want to smile more?
7. "I know you don't like big group gatherings, BUT..." Actually, I'm fine with big group gatherings, I just feel uncomfortable when people go out of their way to point out what they seem to think is a personality deficit.
8. "When I first met you, I thought you were a bitch." Funny, now I kind of think the same of you.
9. "You come across as mean because you rarely talk." Silence is not the same thing as nastiness. Give me time to get to know you, and I will open up and be my warm, sparkly self, and I will have your back whenever you need me.
10. "Don't be so serious all the time." I'm not serious, I just like to take in what's going on around me before I react to it.
11. "What's wrong? Are you sure nothing's wrong? You can tell me if something is wrong! It seems like something's wrong?" The only thing that's wrong is I haven't had time to be alone with my thoughts in a while. But thank you for your concern!
12. "Why do you hate people?" I don't hate people. I just like getting to know people over a period of time and tend not to click with people instantly, but that doesn't mean I won't click with them in the near future.
13. "Don't you want to get out of the house?" When I have a stack of magazines here to read to a soothing Corinne Bailey Rae CD playing? Nope.
14. "Live a little!" Actually, I do, I just don't talk about it on social media or around other people all the time.
15. "Why can't you make more of an effort when you meet new people?" I do make an effort, it's just more subtle and may happen more gradually than how you interact with people.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.