1. You can tell where your cat spent her day because you come home to a thin but obvious matting of fur where she slept for the last eight hours.
You go through lint rollers like toilet paper.
2. When you take your suitcase down to pack, your cat jumps inside of it and looks at you like she can't live without you.
When normally, she's just like, "Your legs? MY lap."
3. When you come home from a trip and put your suitcase on the floor your cat sits on it.
If you try to tip her off of it she half-meows and acts like you've hideously inconvenienced her.
4. Every adorable tiny toy you've ever bought her—the thumb-sized lobster, the dozens of miniature neon mice—just get devoured by the dark space under all your large furniture.
When you do a deep clean and unearth them, they're covered in so much lint you can only stomach throwing them away.
5. The lower half of all your wood and upholstered furniture has that DiStReSsEd look.
Because your cat does what your cat pleases and if her scratching post is eight steps away, why walk there when there's a nice big couch right here?
6. Getting woken up 50 minutes before your alarm went off every morning (or, absurdly early if it's the weekend) because your cat decides she wants company.
If you don't let her in the bedroom, she meows and scratches at the door; if you let her in, she walks on your torso and bats your eyeglasses off the nightstand until you get up.
7. When you DO get up and go into the other room, she has a full bowl of food.
8. If you decide you're just going to stay up after she wakes you because you don't have enough time to get back to sleep or know you won't be able to fall back asleep, the cat will go to sleep.
You realize that all she really wanted was for you to be awake in the same room as her. While she sleeps. On her cat tree. Away from you.
9. Vacuuming the fur off a cat tree is IMPOSSIBLE.
If you've never met a surface you can't clean, meet a cat tree. Especially a white one occupied by a black cat.
10. You find fur on your kitchen counters, even though you're SURE that's the one no-cat place you've actually taught her to stay off of.
This means that when you leave the house each day, she's stealthily betraying you. (Bitch!)
11. When she vomits on your clothes or shoes that might have been on the floor but only occupied about 0.001 percent of the floor surface area that the cat could have vomited on.
You stopped buying area rugs a long time ago. Naturally, your cat has rendered this useless anyway.
12. When they sit on your clean laundry.
It's like, "Hark? What's that sound no one can hear? Clean laundry fresh and warm from the dryer being dumped onto a sumptuous bed? I'll just saunter into the bedroom and make a nest in it when the big, dumb fur-less thing that feeds me turns her back to me."
13. Having random scratches on your hands or legs (or, ugh, face) because your cat was feeling sassy the night before.
And people wondering what happened to you the next day.
14. Telling people, "Oh, it was just my cat," and them responding, "Why do you keep a mean cat? My dog/all dogs would NEVER do that."
EFF YOU, CATS ARE THE CUTEST.
15. Trying to put your cat in the carrier to go to the vet.
And your cat acting like this is the equivalent of a terrorist attack being carried out only on her.
16. Being slightly embarrassed when you board your cat and you see the attendants putting on armpit-length oven mitts to take her out of her vessel.
This means she was a bad kitty. When the attendant delivers her to you, and she's meowing like she's just been tortured, you hang your head in shame a little bit.
17. You always leave shoe boxes/newspapers/shopping bags out because your cat likes to sit on them and you feel bad throwing them away.
Hence your floor is semi-lined in trash all the time.
18. Owning a cat who is so afraid of people, she always hides whenever ANYONE comes over.
It is a law of cat-owning that the more you boast about how sweet and adorable your cat is, if she's shy, the less likely she is to present herself for more than the two seconds it takes her to sprint across the room.
19. When your cat eats plastic or gnaws on an electrical cord.
Especially when she stares at you dead in the eyes while she does it.
20. Everything about litter.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been implemented by the Cosmo.ph editors.