1. "What are you waiting for?"
Everyone asks this because why would anyone wait to try the greatest thing ever, right? But I don't ask you why you're waiting to try yoga or to go to Taylor Swift concerts. Who decided sex is any more urgent than any other awesome activity?
2. "Your relationship isn't serious if you haven't had sex."
Just because you have sex doesn't mean you're seriously committed (One-night stands, amiright?). Just because you don't, doesn't mean you're not.
3. "But you're so pretty!"
That's very nice of you to say, but I'm not waiting for someone who will find me hot enough to have sex with. I'm waiting for someone I love and trust.
4. "Haven't had a lot of luck, huh?"
No, I'm just not in a rush to lose my v-card — most virgins aren't. And my being a virgin doesn't mean I've failed at dating, either. It's just not everyone's mission in life to have sex.
5. "That won't last long."
Neither will this conversation at this rate. Whether I lose it tomorrow or wait until I get married, it's not your moment to bet on.
6. "You're such a prude!"
You wouldn't call someone a slut to their face, would you? So please don't insultingly call out my level of sexual experience either.
7. "You must think I'm such a slut."
No, actually, I don't think you're a slut just because you've had more sex than me. Judging anyone's level of sexual experience is gross.
8. "Have you ever done anything?"
Yes. I'm sure you know enough about foreplay to know there's plenty of other fun stuff you can do sans penetration. Virgins actually aren't mystical, untouched creatures.
9. "Do you ever get horny?"
Yes, I'm human and have the same sexual urges as everyone else. And I've seen Magic Mike.
10. "Is it because you're religious?"
Whether it is or isn't, I'm not sure why my virginity requires an explanation of all of my beliefs. All you need to know is that I'm not going to have sex with you or anyone else right this second.
11. "You should just do it. It's not a big deal."
Maybe not to you, but it is to me. Also why are you acting like a stereotypical drug pusher?!
12. "Why? What's wrong?"
Nothing's wrong. Why assume there's some great, huge personal problem because I'm not having sex? Everything's chill, dude.
13. "Does nobody meet your standard? Is anyone good enough for you?"
Yes, there are people good enough for me. I just haven't found them yet. And I'd rather not bang a random person because my v-card needs to go.
14. "Sex is great."
Duh, and I look forward to it.
15. "Live a little."
I don't think sex is the only way you can live. There are other ways to broaden your horizons that don't involve having a penis in you.
16. "So what do you do then when you're hooking up?"
The same thing you do when you're not having intercourse. There are three other bases.
17. "Don't you feel weird about it?"
I didn't until you asked me this. And now I just feel awkward because you seem to think I should.
18. "But orgasms are incredible! You're missing out."
Men aren't the only means to an orgasm (and they aren't always the most effective, or so I've heard).
19. "Doesn't your boyfriend get frustrated?"
If sex was the only thing he wanted, he'd be with someone else.
20. "Are you even into guys?"
Really? Yes. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with how much (or little) sex you have. Just because I'm not sleeping with guys doesn't mean I'm not turned on by shirtless Ryan Gosling.
21. "You're a virgin. You wouldn't get it."
Wouldn't get what? Being a virgin doesn't make life incomprehensible.
22. "You don't act like a virgin."
I wasn't aware virgins have a particular behavior. I flirt. I make out with guys. I basically do the same things you do minus actual p-in-v.
23. "Aw, you're so cute/innocent/naïve."
Aw, that remark is so adorably condescending! Just because I haven't done one thing doesn't mean I know nothing. And there are some cute, innocent, naïve non-virgins out there, too.
24. "I can take care of that for you."
Oh wow, I thought no one would ever volunteer. Thank you!