1. If you lean on the pole. Some people need to hold on to that to keep their balance, and you're just not letting them. Bitch!
2. If you play your music out loud, without earphones. The public space is not just YOUR space. Not everyone wants to hear music, and not everyone wants to hear yours.
3. If everyone within arm's reach can hear your music through your earphones. Why does this even happen?! Time to get new ones, sweetie.
4. If you cough or sneeze without covering your mouth. Get your effing germs away from people!!! You felt the cough and the sneeze coming, so you should've been prepared! I'm totally blaming you if I get what you have.
5. If you violently fan yourself in the crowded train. You're hitting us all and making us all uncomfortable. BTW, I can SMELL you.
6. If you keep flipping your hair or shaking your head to wag that ponytail. Girl, you ain't in a shampoo commercial. Also, I'm not digging the scent of your shampoo.
7. If you comb your hair. Weren't you taught that this shouldn't be done in a public place?! No? Okay, I'm telling you: This shouldn't be done in a public place.
8. If you don't let senior citizens, pregnant women, or PWDs sit down. You inconsiderate little b—
9. If you accidentally step on someone's foot and don't say sorry. YOU NEED TO SAY SORRY. You just hurt her and dirtied her white sneakers! Which is a crime.
10. If you intentionally step on someone's foot. Bitch.
11. If you reach for your phone in your bag and elbow the person near you. ELBOWS IN! Have some sense of space.
12. If you elbow someone and don't say sorry. You hurt her spine/boob/tummy, okay? Apologize for it! And never elbow someone again!
13. If you enter the train as other people are coming out. Let other people leave first! This should be common courtesy. So PRACTICE IT.
14. If you use your bag made of tough leather to make people not stand near you or make them move. When that tough leather jabs us, IT HURTS. And the train is not just for you, entitled bitch.
15. If you stand by the doors as other people are exiting. People who were decent enough to go to the middle section of the cart (so other commuters like you could enter the train) are now trying to make their way out. If you’re in their way, GTFO of it! Step out of the train!
16. If you don't let go of the pole by the door as people are exiting. Your arm is a damn obstacle to them. LET GO OF THE POLE. The train isn't moving; you won't fall down, promise.
17. If you just push your way in or out the train without saying “excuse me.” This is annoying.
18. If you just push your way in or out the train and only say "excuse." Don’t you have the decency to say it properly?
19. If you don't go to the middle section of the cart. People in line still have to go in the train, and you're there blocking the goddamn way. You're not the only one who needs to go to work or get back home, you know.
20. If you line up for the PWD, pregnant women/mothers with kids, and senior citizen area, but you don’t fit any of those descriptions. THAT AIN'T FOR YOU. By lining up there, you're giving PWDs, pregnant women, kids, and senior citizens a more difficult commute!
21. If you pickpocket. Find something literally good to do, evil human who has no life.
22. If you litter on the platform or in the train. IT'S WRONG, OKAY. Throw your trash in the trash bin, and when there's none around, keep that bottle or wrapper and wait 'til you see a bin or when you get home to throw it. BTW, you're not supposed to be eating on the platform or in the train.
23. If you tell someone who gets hurt (maybe by an elbow or a bag) that she "shouldn't have taken the train." Public transportation is meant for EVERYBODY. You can't just expect someone to NOT take the train, especially if that's the only way for her to get around.
24. If you're okay with a shitty train system. Public transportation is not supposed to be hell. Don't make it any more of a dystopic reality than it already is.
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