5 Tricks For SEDUCING Anyone

Ever wanted to be one of those girls everyone seems to love? Here's how you can put your charms to good use.

Obviously, you know what the word seduction means. But forget the sexual connotation we usually associate with it. Because different from a flirty come-hither stare or a provocative pout, the art of seduction is about charming the pants off people so they feel as if they're under your spell, and in the end, they want to give you what you want.

It's a powerful, intellectual social skill that draws people to you. Sure, a small number of women are born with this knack for immediately owning a room and getting their way. But you don't have to be. "You can actually learn how to be captivating, because at the heart of likability is simply a talent for putting people at ease and making them feel special," says Jeffrey Jones, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Atlanta.

Since being irresistible gives you a huge advantage in life, we offer you five tricks to help you hypnotize anyone and put them under your charismatic powers.

1. Make It A Mission

Here's the thing: You don't accidentally wow the hell out of someone. There's an element of allure that's totally premeditated. In other words, you have to have a goal in mind in order to make an impact. "It's the law of intentions," says Nicholas Boothman, author of How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less. "When you know what you want, chances are, you'll get it."

So, whether you have your heart set on scoring the recently vacated office with a view or connecting with the guy you've been eyeing at your fave bar for weeks, form a concrete mission statement in your mind before you attack (i.e., "I will ask for Mr. Vodka Tonic's number" or "I will convince my boss that I deserve a shot at those posh digs"). Going in with a will-do attitude sets your mind and body in forward motion, so your chances of success are infinitely better.

2. Be An Aerobic Listener

Everyone loves an attentive audience. We all like to hear ourselves speak—it's human nature. That's why giving someone your full focus is a surefire way to make her feel extraordinary. "We're immediately attracted to someone who gives us the spotlight and truly registers what we're saying because it makes us feel incredibly interesting and intelligent," says media consultant Michael Sheehan.

Start by posing a few great queries that are bound to elicit some serious storytelling. After all, the goal is to get the other person gabbing. "Stick with questions that have universal appeal and can't be answered with a yes or no response," explains Boothman. One caveat: While you want to use your experiences to ease into a topic, bite your tongue if you're dying to interject. It'll make it seem like you were just itching to relate your own anecdote the whole time.

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3. Tell A Great Story

Okay, some situations call for you to be a good listener, like when you're one-on-one. Others demand that you step up and be the star. And that means being a pro at building and relaying titillating tales. "Knowing how to tell a great story will have people eating out of the palm of your hand, not only because it's entertaining but also because it reveals a lot about how funny or insightful you are," says Caren Neile, PhD, director of the South Florida Storytelling Project at Florida Atlantic University. "Plus, if you can capture and hold the attention of a small group, others will be intrigued by your magnetism and follow."

Spinning a mesmerizing yarn requires three simple principles. First, make sure it doesn't come out of nowhere. It should relate to what people are talking about in some way so it's an easy brain transition for your audience. Then make your subject matter. "Stories should be about pitfalls and lessons learned... or they should be about someone else," says Neile. "If the story is about you, make yourself the butt of the joke, because even if you climbed Mount Apo or saved the day, it can be annoying to listen to someone talk about herself in that way." Lastly, be sure to let the bit build to a slow and steady climax before hitting them with the punch line and bringing it all full circle.

However, if straight storytelling really isn't your forte, don't fret. Simply skim the front page of the newspaper before a gathering, suggests Linda Kaplan Thaler, coauthor of Bang! Getting Your Message Heard in a Noisy World. Narrow the field to four topics (news, politics, entertainment, books, etc.) that you're naturally comfortable talking about, and read enough to form your own observations and absorb the gist of what other people, pundits, and critics are saying. "Even if it's only the CliffsNotes of what is happening, you can confidently walk into any situation equipped to spark intelligent conversations," says Thaler.

4. Go In Slo-Mo

Now, whether you're relaying that stellar story or just wrapped up in casual conversation, don't race through it. "Taking the pace of your speech down a notch makes you seem less anxious and skittish," says Neile. "It projects a kind of confidence and importance that invites people in, has them hanging on your every word, and makes them take you more seriously."

To decelerate your speaking style, perfect the pause. "A little lull builds suspense, gives people time to catch up, and lends more impact to what you're saying,” explains Neile. Take quick breathers throughout your speech so the sentence that follows—the one with the big sell or the tearjerking moment—stands alone. For example, if you were giving the toast at your best friend's wedding, it might go something like this: "I'm so happy for the bride and groom (one, one thousand). I'm honored to have witnessed these lovebirds falling for each other (one, one thousand), and I can only hope to find as perfect a match."

5. Don't Show Off Your Smarts

You don't have to play dumb to make people adore you. In fact, it will only undermine your cause. What we're talking about is, even when you're armed with convo-starting current events from the paper or a fabulous anecdote, you still want to act a tad naive so you don’t seem, frankly, obnoxious.

"People spend too much energy trying to demonstrate how much they know," says Thaler. "Being intelligent is an attribute, but when you show off, it alienates your audience." A quick fix: Next time you're trying to stoke a conversation with some interesting tidbit, couch your smarts in an unintimidating way by introducing the topic with something like "Wow, I learned this cool thing recently..."

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