1. "How do you do it?"
We hear this all the time, and we know you mean well by it, but the long and short of it is…we just suck it up and do it. We don’t feel like heroes as we do our juggling act as single mom/career woman/driver/handyman; we just DO. IT.
2. "Who's the father? Are you two on good terms?"
We know people are just curious or concerned when they ask questions pertaining to the baby daddy, but we hope they catch on easily that if we’re not sharing much, that means it’s none of their biz.
3. "'Di mo naman kailangan ng lalake, panggulo lang sila!"
We ladies like to joke about how hopeless men are sometimes, but oh, what single moms would give to have an extra pair of hands around to clean up the mess in the living room while we help with the math homework.
4. "Why are you still single?"
Finding a great match is hard enough when you’re single and childless; try throwing a three-year-old and the demands that come with one in the mix. And single moms are no longer just looking for a fun guy to throw back a few shots with; we want someone dependable, responsible, patient, and understanding who won’t run the other way when we bring up the child conversation.
5. "You should spend less time working and spend more time with your kid."
Honestly, we would love to just stay home and have a Disney movie marathon with the kids, but who would earn for our little family if we single moms didn’t work our asses off every day?
6. "How do you make ends meet?"
Umm, by working our asses off every day? (See #5.) Also, we’re lucky to have families who help out. It takes a village and all that.
7. "Your child should have a male role model."
True, but that role doesn’t have to just fall on the father; grandfathers, uncles, or male teachers can also meet that role. This thing I’ve actually been told is worse: “Aren’t you afraid your son will turn gay because he doesn’t have a father figure?” Newsflash: (1) Sexual preference isn’t dictated by whether or not a person has a complete set of parents, and (2) if he turns out to be gay, fantastic. Let him be whatever’s true to him.
8. "Where's your child? Sinong kasama niya?"
This can come off as insulting when it’s asked of us when we’re out at night or enjoying our alone time. It makes us feel like people think we’re not entitled to our own relaxation just because we don’t have another parent around to pick up the slack. Chances are our kids are with the yaya, lola, or tita; we didn’t just leave them on a street corner to starve as we headed out for dinner with our work buddies. And besides, we deserve this break. Probably more than the person asking the question.
9. "You're so strong."
This would be a compliment if it didn’t come with a pitying look. Next time you say this line to a single mom, say it with a smile or a cheer or a fist bump or a booty shake; homegirl might appreciate it more.
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