If there’s one thing 2015 taught me, it’s this: Facing your fears is both the scariest and most rewarding thing you could ever do for yourself.
To give you some perspective about my realization, let me share with you what my biggest fear is—writing. I have always always been afraid to write.
Apart from having to submit academic papers or posting the occasional social media update, I’ve always had this aversion to “baring my soul” through writing. It seemed too personal an experience to put my thoughts and feelings into words and I couldn’t deal with people reading and making judgments out of what I had to say. That’s why making a career out of writing was just a thought that I always shut down in my mind. In the few times I let it creep in, I just told myself, “It’s never gonna happen.”
So it never did.
Until this year.
Early this year, I took the risk of leaving a budding career in the performing arts—a path that was never fully my own. With no definite plan in mind, I struggled to find where to go. But deep down, I just knew. It just took a while for me to muster up the courage to face what I’ve known all along: I wanted to write.
Applying for editorial jobs—specially coming from a totally unrelated field—felt like jumping off a cliff. I didn’t know what I’d fall and crash into. And the wait was just so excruciating.
Maybe it was fate, luck, the Lord, or raw talent, but I was accepted for an editorial job I never even dared myself to dream of.
And now, at six months into the job, I still catch myself quietly smiling. It’s as if I can’t fully grasp that I’m finally here. Doing this.
I’m just waiting for someone to pinch me.
I still don't have all the answers to all of life's questions. And I honestly really do not know what lies ahead—I never will. But all I can do is trust my gut, rush off to the edge of the cliff, and JUMP.
I wonder what catches me next.
Jacinda Lopez is Cosmo.ph's Assistant Celebrity Editor. Follow her on Twitter.