'How do I practice self-love 'pag napre-pressure ako sa mga nakikita ko on social media?'

Q: Given the nature of my work and dahil sa interests ko na rin, lagi akong nagsc-scroll on social media. Dahil dito, may mga araw talaga na nai-insecure ako dahil sa mga nakikita ko online. For me, hindi rin option yung mag-quit ng social media apps. So what are some ways I can bring myself back to a place of self-love 'pag nangyayari 'to? 

***

As much as there are perks to social media—like instant communication and the freedom of content creation—there are definitely downsides to it. It can be a struggle to differentiate between content that sparks inspiration and the kind that aims to capitalize on your insecurities. 

How to practice self-love

For a fresh perspective, Cosmopolitan reached out to Ayn Bernos, the woman behind Morena the Label, for advice on how to practice self-love on days when you're feeling low. She said, "I read up on *body neutrality* and it's basically saying that you're more than just your body. You're more than what you look like. I think it's also a healthy perspective to have because more than uplifting ourselves—yes, we're beautiful, no matter what we look like—it's also knowing that who we are, our self-worth, will never depend on what we look like."

According to Ayn, when she was in high school, she was a "skinny, athletic girl," something that changed when she entered the corporate world and started working: "Because I 'lost' my body then, somehow I also lost my confidence. I realized that that isn't how I want to live my life because change is always gonna be there."

And she's right. Our bodies will continue to change as we get older. Practicing body neutrality can help stabilize your confidence and self-worth so these don't fluctuate when your weight does. It's not easy to develop this mindset, we know, but working through that can help you see things from a different perspective. 

Ayn shared, "While yes, I take pride in my morena skin, I take pride in working out, and I take pride in a lot of the things that I've done so far, at the same time, I am not those things period. I embrace the process of going through life. I embrace the process of aging. I embrace the process of eating and then gaining [weight] because of enjoying food. So what, right? I also enjoy the process of working out and getting stronger."

A simple affirmation

"I'm doing good. I'm doing the best that I can." Ayn added, "Sometimes, just by waking up in the morning and trying, and that's the best that I can do. I tell myself that that's enough. 'I tried today. Maybe I need to take a nap and try again tomorrow, but at least I tried today.' And it's comforting because I don't need to beat myself up over things that I cannot control or things that I feel. Even though I'm trying to pursue excellence, a part of that excellence is also forgiving myself 'cause if I beat myself up over these things, I won't be able to get back up and try harder or try again." 

She focuses on staying kind to herself instead of constantly comparing herself to others because there will *always* be someone "younger, prettier, more fit, richer, smarter," etc. Instead, her advice is to be yourself. Be the best version of yourself. 

Learn more about the best way to practice self-love by watching the video below.

Ayn Bernos is the entrepreneur behind Morena the Label, a brand that celebrates sun-kissed skin and challenges colorism. She is passionate about women empowerment, skin color positivity, and self-development. Connect with Ayn on Instagram, TikTok, or Youtube.

Do you need career, life, love, or mental health advice? We're here to help you, bb. Join our Cosmo Community on Facebook, post your question—btw, you can do this anonymously now—and use the hashtag #AskACosmoCoach. 

Follow Ysa on Instagram.