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The 33 Best Things About Being Single

One word: FREEDOM.

1. You can take as long as you want to get ready for something without having a guy in the next room yelling the time at you. Because that special skin-tightening  facial mask takes 45 minutes, and there is no way you're taking it off even one minute early. This shit was expensive.

2. You don't have to pretend to laugh at unfunny jokes or be secretly embarrassed about something he wears. There is not another human being that people can define and/or judge you by.

3. You don't have to hang out with his crappy friends. Like his dickish high school crew or that girl Nina who always gives you the stinkeye when you're around. *eye roll*

4. The fizzy anticipation of going out on a Friday night and possibly meeting a great guy. 

5. You have time to hang out with your friends. And none of them complain they never see you anymore. Hello, brunch.

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6. You don't feel obligated to return the favor vis-a-vis oral. It's just some guy. Who cares?

7. You don't have to share your bed with a 190-pound, 6-foot-3 blanket hog. Unless you want to. Otherwise, totally fair to kick the dude out.

8. You can make out with anyone you want. Any time you want.

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9. You never worry that you're settling.

10. No worrying about the constant problem known as "Buying Men Presents." 

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11. Not having to pretend you like a shitty present. My best friend's ex-boyfriend once gave her a necklace made out of a fork.

12. No awkward dinners with your S.O.'s family. 

13. You can keep the fan on or off while the airconditioning is running—whatever your heart desires. Same goes for keeping that bedside lamp off, just the way you like it.

14. You don't have to go anywhere near Star WarsThe Hobbit, NBA, or any other typically male-oriented thing. Every time a woman who does not like The Hobbit says "OMG I love The Hobbit!" in order to exhibit her Coolness, a fairy dies.

15. Not shaving. Forever.

16. Telling your friends retrospectively hilarious stories from your dates. If you like entertaining your whole dinner table with spectacularly awful tales of your last few Tinder dates. May as well get something out of it.

17. You can cook whatever you want for dinner. 

18. Having all the closet space to yourself.

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19. Not unknowingly being one of those joined-at-the-hip couples who irritates everybody.

20. Sex is never routine. When you do it, it's because you want to.

21. You can binge-watch an entire season of a show with no guilt about your significant other falling behind. No more having to pretend that you don't know how season two of Orange Is The New Black ends.

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22. You can engage in what Sex and the City refers to as "Secret Single Behavior." Like taking your pants off, keeping your bra and shirt on, eating an entire bag of Clover chips and watch teleseryes.

23. You can watch cheesy-as-heck Pinoy movies without being judged. And invite your friends over for a cryfest while watching One More Chance, Starting Over Again, and Paano Na Kaya.

24. Pizza farts. Anytime and anywhere you please.

25. On the weekends, you can wake up whenever. 

26. You never have to fight him for the TV. No more Playstation, YES.

27. Keep whatever kind of booze in the house that you want. If you're a vodka girl, go for it. No need to stock any amber liquor just because he wants to drink it straight and pretend he's Hemingway or whatever.

28. No need to do anyone's laundry other than your own.

29. You can hook up with a super-hot dumb guy and enjoy it for what it is. Fourth year college you is extremely satisfied.

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30. You have control of your own mess, and it is probably not literally garbage. A heap of your clothes on the floor is better than discarded Mcdo takeout trash everywhere.

31. You can wear whatever you want, there's no boyfriend to stop you. Short skirt paired with a low-cut top? Go for it, girl!

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32. And you can stay out as late as you want. Without having to check in with anyone.

33. Knowing Beyoncé wrote "Single Ladies" for you. The greatest present of all. We are all wearing Sasha Fierce metal gloves on the inside.


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This article originally appeared on Minor edits have been made by the editors.