Here are the 19 emotionally exhausting stages of planning your summer holiday:
1. You realize that daydreaming about being on holiday has started taking up an alarming portion of your day, so it's probs time to actually book one.
2. But WHERE to go?! Surfing in Australia? Elephant-riding in Thailand? You check your heaving 'Places I wanna visit' Pinterest board for inspiration.
3. You then check your bank balance. Riding a banana boat in the sea somewhere on Cebu Pacific's destination list is not as fun as an elephant, right?
4. You check the predicted weather at all of your finalized possible destinations. There's a 7% chance of precipitation based on yearly averages? Buh-bye.
5. The overthinker in you casually googles the possible destinations alongside the words "crime rate" to determine the likelihood of getting robbed/murdered/other. Bad idea.
6. You realize everywhere on earth appears to be a total crimefest. But you tell yourself there will always be bonkers people on message boards that will dismiss anywhere as "VERY UNSAFE" based on clocking a couple of dubious-looking-but-probs-harmless individuals. (You buy pepper spray just in case.)
7. Location decided, it's time to book flights. OH, the fun. You lose hours researching ALL the travel hacks to find the cheapest flight deals, cackling like the evil genius you are. An evil genius that has spent 4 hours online and now has square eyes and laptop-induced thigh-burns.
8. SeatGuru becomes your new best friend. Seeing reviews of each individual seat on your plane helps you decide which seats to avoid like the plague, like YOU, 43a, with your poxy amount of legroom. What a time to be alive.
9. Onto the minefield of accommodation. Rent a cheap and quirky apartment with a slight chance the owner might cancel on you OR go for all-inclusive 5* hotel with a 100% chance of bankruptcy? Hmm.
10. The constant decision-making almost makes you lose your mind a bit. Aren't holidays meant to be fun? This non-stop admin is anything but.
11. The all-inclusive food and drink package finally wins your heart. And a large portion of your available credit card funds. Oops.
12. EVERYTHING IS OFFICIALLY BOOKED! You can finally reeeeelax and start counting down the days.
13. Your Whatsapp chats with the person you're going on hols with begin to mainly consist of a blend of excited and holiday-themed emojis.
14. The middle of the night panic attacks set in. "DID I DEFINITELY BOOK THE FLIGHTS ON THE RIGHT DAY?!?!!" Yes, yes I did. Shut up, brain.
15. You now waste even more time daydreaming about your holiday than before you booked it. Gazing at pretty snaps of the hotel makes the day-to-day grind of life almost bearable.
16. You indulge in some mandatory holiday wardrobe shopping. Even though you know you'll go into your relaxed IDGAF-mode as soon as you get there and will clearly wear the same outfit every day. But it's better to be safe than sorry.
17. Hours are spent experimenting with how many layers you can feasibly wear, a la Joey Tribbiani, to prevent getting a whopping baggage fee at the airport.
18. You make the mistake of going back on Tripadvisor to remind yourself the glowing reviews your hotel in paradise has had. Someone has just left a TERRIBLE one. You suddenly freak out that you'll be staying in a hell hole. But there's no going back now.
19. You then realize you are SO unbelievably ready for a break, your hotel could turn out to be a converted trash can and you'd still be loving life. So you tell your brain to shut it's face and keep counting down the ever-decreasing days until you can get the hell out of town.
LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL â˜€ï¸ðŸŒ´âœˆï¸ðŸ‘™ðŸŽ‰ðŸ’ðŸ¹