1. Broing out with their friends. You know how when you witness your boyfriend out with his best friends, it's like he transforms into a totally different bro-dude? That will always happen. Even when you're in an old folks' home together and his old buddy comes to visit, they'll do dumb pranks like hide each other's false teeth.
2. Masturbating. Masturbating is kind of like picking your nose: Lots of people do it in private, even if they don't want to admit it. Even if the frequency goes down with time (and access to some privacy), this will never stop. Ever.
3. Spending 20 minutes in the bathroom. Why do we want to rush this and make it stressful? Just let us have our bowel movements in peace while we mess around on our phones.
4. Idly touching themselves on the couch. This is just something we do with our hands when we're hanging out on a lazy Sunday. Be thankful we don't do it in public too. Although honestly, we probably would if we didn't have our phones to play with while we wait around instead.
5. Wearing that T-shirt. Every guy has a favorite old T-shirt (or jeans and underwear; don't judge). He's never going to throw it out until it literally disintegrates off his body one day.
6. Peeing with the seat down. We're pretty sure we can handle peeing into a giant open pit, OK?
7. Being in love with a team that's always losing. Love for a team is a dynasty, passed down from generation to generation. We do it because it's in our blood.
8. Waiting in lines for things we are very passionate about. I don't think you understand that having to sit up front for the new Star Wars movie is the kind of thing samurai used to commit seppuku over.
9. Playing video games. It's 2015 and everyone plays video games. Your mom is addicted to Candy Crush. Don't roll your eyes because we consider playing Halo for two hours "a good time."
10. Getting super competitive about everything. The other day, my dad and I had a contest to see who could spin their wedding ring on the kitchen counter for longer. It got intense. And I won. And that means something.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.