1. His lack of direction inevitably leads you to start sounding like his parents.
Sometimes at inappropriate moments, like when your top is off. "Um, have you thought about business school, or…?"
2. You have conversations with female acquaintences whose husbands are lawyers or doctors or entrepreneurs who are like "So what does he do?"
And you're like "What doesn't he do!!! Hahahahaha do you know where the ladies' room is, great, thanks."
3. He hasn't really learned how to budget yet.
So he can't really afford to take you to Boracay next month. So.
4. He still wants to have intellectual discussions with you over dinner because he misses the ones he had in college.
Sorry, I want to smash my face directly into my fresh rosemary pasta without discussing the recurring motifs of Francis Ford Coppola films. Love you.
5. He can drink until he passes out and barely feel it the next day.
Because #youth. He wakes up fresh and glowy and you look like this.
6. He uses words like "tus."
Actually, this is sort of cute.
7. He still smokes a lot of weed.
8. He does not yet entirely comprehend that the world is a bullshittery.
In a few years, he'll be just as cynical as you are, but right now his idealism is half-adorable, half-irritating.
9. You have to teach him how to correctly do adult stuff.
run mildly challenging errands/wash things until they are actually clean. Steep learning curve.
10. He has enough energy to have sex…late at night.
Theory: People start enjoying morning sex only when they get to the age where the morning is the only time they're not stressed out or exhausted, therefore the ~*~*sExIeSt~*~*. This is not that time for him yet.
11. Which then leads to him poking his boner into your back at moments when you are least interested.
It doesn't turn you on so much as make your subconscious add a trombone into your dream.
12. His endurance is awesome, but his skill may not always match.
Unless you are lucky.
13. He grew up with a high-speed smorgasbord of any porn he wants.
Once you are used to on-demand naked ladies always ready to go, you're...less familiar with normal human women who might be tired or feel bloated or want to do it in the morning.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.