1. Wear pants that fit properly.
How else am I to know you have a cute butt under there? I need to know about the cute butt.
2. Reply to your texts in a super hot, timely manner.
Nothing sexier than not being left in agony while he takes six hours to reply to a simple "how was your day?"
3. Wear fitted t-shirts.
*Especially* when they're like, ever-so-slightly too small and tight across his chest. And bonus points if it isn't a dumb graphic t-shirt that has "Female Body Inspector" on it.
4. Maintain eye contact without breaking out in hives or cutting the tension with a fart noise.
BRB, getting very hot and bothered at the thought of holding eye contact with a human male for more than 10 seconds...
5. Use his hot ears to listen to what you say, and then reference it later.
Isn't it so sexy when boys remember the name of your dead cat because you mentioned in that one time.
6. Smell like he's showered at some point in the past 24 hours.
Is that Old Spice on your armpits? Dove on your arms? And OMG, is that TIDE I smell on your t-shirt? Soap smell. So steamy. Can't get enough.
7. Stand up real tall and grab your favorite coffee mug from the shelf you can't reach.
Who needs a stepladder when bae has go-go-gadget arms that put literally everything within his mammoth reach?
8. Offer to scratch your back without expecting you to scratch his in return.
Basically any time he does something nice without being like "OK now you have to come watch sports and sit next to my friend Tony while he intermittently scratches his balls on Sunday," it's so hot.
9. Have arms.
Even better if he uses them to pick things up sometimes, like a hot slice of pizza that he's sharing with you.
10. Dress appropriately for the weather.
Or you know, just dress appropriately in general. No slippers and jeans combo EVER.
11. Kiss you goodbye instead of being like "later!" when he leaves your apartment.
Literally never leave my home without planting a juicy smooch on me, thanks (only if I think you're hot).
12. Wear baseball caps and look hot AF.
13. Use his hot guy hands to hug you after a long day fighting the patriarchy, and then use his hot guy feet to get up and bring you plate of cookies.
Nothing like a hot guy who shows his feminist instincts with freshly baked goods, amirite?
14. Wait for you outside the restaurant on date night and smile when you approach, like an honest to god movie scene.
Walking up on him standing there all statuesque on the sidewalk is wayyyyyy hotter than finding him inside, already stuffing his face with appetizer bread without you.
15. Casually flex his muscles when he opens that jar of peanut butter for you, even though you know it's not actually on that tight.
Sure, I could've opened the peanut butter myself but literally why would I when watching a guy do it is basically porn?
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.