While some couples dream of having a big family with four or more kids, others are perfectly okay with not having any children at all—such was the case for lovers Chelsea Aquino and Ian Abellanosa.
When they started dating, the couple of four years already had touchy conversations about the ~future~, including their views on being child-free. Fortunately, they were both on the same page.
Considering the cost of having to raise a child and the physical and mental preparation that comes with it, "we agreed that being fur parents to our future cats and *sigh* a dog would be more than enough," she wrote in a Facebook post. She added, "We want to travel for long periods of time, jump from planes and cliffs without [worrying] about a kid."
"The thought of bearing a child was never appealing to me," she told Cosmo.ph. "I have a niece who I would die for—I just don't want one. I always felt like I was different until, with age, I [realized] that a lot of women felt that way, too."
The 25-year-old went on to share how some people think that she will change her mind, especially since she's still "young." On top of that, she would also get comments like "sayang ang lahi [mo]."
When asked how she deals with the criticisms, she said: "I would just ignore those comments... It's really not anyone's business."
There are many birth control options available in the Philippines. In their case, Chelsea's partner recently availed the Philippine Population Program Commission on Population (POPCOM)'s free vasectomy services. ICYDK, vasectomy is a form of birth control for men, wherein the small tubes that carry the sperm from the testicles to the penis are cut or blocked off to prevent pregnancy. Philhealth noted on their website that if you are a member or a dependent, the procedure will be covered by them, "subject to the provisions of its benefit package."
There are two types of vasectomies: 1. Incision method 2. No-scalpel a.k.a. no-cut method. Ian went for the latter and the procedure only took around 15 minutes! He had to recover for about 30 minutes then "he was good to go," Chelsea shared. On a scale of one to ten, he rated the pain of getting the contraception a four. "He [will] be taking antibiotics for [a] week," she added.
Vasectomy is a safe and affordable option for birth control. "We don't talk about it enough," she pointed out.
For her part, Chelsea plans to get tubal ligation—a type of permanent birth control for women—in the future. But for now, "my man took one for the team. [I'm] so proud."
"Don't let anyone tell you what you should or not do with your body," she advised. "I'm lucky enough to have found a partner that has the same stance on this amongst other things. There's still a lot of stigma going around being child-free but it's a valid choice that should be respected, even celebrated."
Ultimately, the decision to have kids or not is ~personal~. Everyone will have different views on it, but what's important is that we respect each other's opinions.
(Ed's note: Before going on any type of birth control, it's always best to do your research and consult your doctor.)
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