Listen, it's 2016. I'd love to say that women make the first move just as often as men, and that it doesn't take guys by surprise when they do. But unfortunately, for a variety of reasons (I choose to blame a generation weaned on Disney movies), it's still typically assumed that the guy is going to make the first move. Which is awful news for pretty much everyone. Guys are forced to put themselves out there and risk rejection, while women might hold back because they don't want to be seen as aggressive or masculine.
But I'm here to say please, please, if you're feeling so inclined, make the first move. Even those overconfident guys who go for it with every woman they meet are terrified of rejection. If you pull back, they play it off by saying, "Oh, I wasn't leaning in to kiss you! I was leaning over to read that sign!" And then they laugh, but inside, their heart collapses in on itself and they can never love again. This is everything a guy things when you make the first move:
1. "Oh, thank god."
That's it. Just a sense of relief. No "Oh, she kissed me first. She's so aggressive that I bet she wants me to be a stay-at-home dad while she works." Or, "I bet she's a slut." It's just, "OK, great. I don't have to spend the next hour wondering if I'm going to feel that horrible, physical emptiness when I lean in to kiss and she pulls back and then I have to pretend like I'm making out with a ghost to save face. And I gotta be all, 'Oh? You thought I wanted to kiss you? I was about to fuck this ghost, idiot." That's really all.
Sure, there's a chance he won't want to kiss you. But I'm putting those odds at 75–25 in your favor. That's based on absolutely nothing, for the record. Just make the first move, please. It's 2016, women can make the first move and men can fuck ghosts, I guess.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.