These Reddit Stories About Getting Cheated On Feel Like A Canon Event In Learning Self-Worth

Our first relationship feels like stepping into an entirely new version of ourselves. Suddenly, we're updating someone about the smallest parts of our day and learning just how vulnerable it feels to let another person know us that deeply. For some, it meant hiding the relationship from their parents and mastering the art of sneaking around. Everything feels intense, unfamiliar, and exciting at the same time—which is probably why the heartbreak hits just as hard, too.

For many, this is the kind of experience that later gets reframed as a "canon event"—one of those inevitable firsts that somehow reshapes how we understand love, trust, and self-worth.

I had my first relationship during my second year of college, and with all the thrill of those heart-skipping moments came the more complicated side of relationships that completely pulled me out of the fairytale. Miscommunication happened, plans didn't always align, and sometimes one of us was just having a bad day. But those things felt entirely different from the real deal-breaker: finding out your partner was cheating on you.

Personally, nothing beats being out with friends at a bar in Makati when the truth suddenly hits me right in the face, thanks to a friend finally revealing the missing puzzle piece. TBH, female intuition had already given me a sense that something was happening, but the confirmation wasn't exactly something I was looking forward to. 😅

For most of us, the truth arrives in different unexpected ways—but somehow with the exact same plot twist. And maybe that's why getting cheated on in your first relationship feels like such a universal experience.

From Reddit, here are stories that show exactly that.

University student: "We were together for about two years...He's a year older than me, so he met a lot of new people and made new friends, many [of whom] were in fact, female...I think part of my insecurity stemmed from the fact that our relationship had to remain hidden, at least on my side…I remember one time I brought him to my band rehearsal simply because I wanted to spend more time with him. After the rehearsal, we were just hanging out when one of my bandmates, out of his curiosity, borrowed my ex's phone. While scrolling through it, he noticed Tinder [was] downloaded on his phone and asked him why he had it. My ex casually said he used it whenever he was bored."

University student: "I was 17 when I had my first boyfriend...We were together for 2 years, on and off. I did not feel something off at all, in a way that it was always him who actively made me feel off or jealous. Like he wanted me to feel jealous on purpose. He kept mentioning other girls 'as a joke', and [said] things like 'Uy, ang ganda ni [girl's name] no? Jowain ko kaya? Joke'…One afternoon after school, I sat on my bed and tried guessing his password, which I guessed on the third try. He was exchanging sultry messages with his ex and even kept asking the ex for (nude) photos. Some photos from way back were still saved in his 'just you'."

Reddit user lou-bend4: "At 28, almost 29, I started a relationship with my now-ex (M31). We had the most beautiful relationship. We moved in together to a new state last January. By February (1.5 years [into] our relationship), I discovered he was [on] Tinder, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, and even Grindr. I was shocked. I tried to forgive. He got a new job, and things seemed to be going ok. He had to use my car to get to work since his was being worked on. Then I find out he's been [having sex with] a 19yo waitress in my car…"

Reddit user AskOwn6415: "I've been single all 24 years of my life until I matched with my (now ex) on Tinder last August. We connected instantly, and I honestly believed I would spend the rest of my life with him…He had a bad childhood growing up in a house of divorced parents, so I knew he had baggage, and I never prodded or insisted on [him telling me]. He was very musical and often played the guitar or piano for me (even writing me a song and playing it for me), and he was the first person I ever said 'I love you' to besides friends or family. Yesterday, I got a DM from a girl he had been seeing off and on since September and found out he cheated on me with her…"

Reddit user rueruna: "I (20F) got into a relationship with my now ex boyfriend when I was still 18, going on 19. He was my first relationship, or really anything intimate, ever. I found out he had cheated all the way back in March, and again last month, about a week after I was staying in a mental hospital. I willingly put myself here because of, what I now know is, really bad OCD. It was making me crazy, and I was crying almost every day. My friends made him tell me. They're the ones that found out. And even then, he lied and said it was only once. One time, he insinuated that he was blackout drunk. He cheated with the same girl both times."

Reddit user: "I (20F) was cheated on by my first love/first boyfriend (21M) (together for a year)...I was in shock the night I found out, and I keep screenshots of his convos with the other girl just to remind myself that it's real. He gaslighted so much whenever it became prevalent that a part of me didn't trust him—he would call me controlling and say that he [had] always been truthful with me about everything. That obviously wasn't true."

Reddit user ThrowRA24f879425: "My boyfriend and I both use a semi-popular hub based site called Discord; I mainly use it for TTRPG's [Tabletop Role-Playing Game] and fandom-based things, and he typically uses it for FPS [First Person Shooter] games and others that are similar. It's important to note that he has me added on Discord, but I recently found out he has a whole different profile…I was staying at his house for NYE, and we were both a bit...Tipsy. Him more so than me, and he left his desktop on and open when he fell asleep. He didn't mute the audio, and I was woken up around 4 a.m. by someone calling. I go over to investigate, and he's still on his 'backup' account…I don't pick up the call, let it go through, and I doze back off...And I'm woken up not even 20 minutes later by a barrage of messages. I go to at least mute the person messaging, and all I see are a slew of heart-themed things, ranging from gifs to emojis."

Reddit user: "My oldest just turned 16 this past May and has been dating this boy from her school for one year...He is 17 years old. On Friday, I was called by my middle child to come back home ASAP because my oldest was having a crisis. She found her boyfriend with another girl in his house in a very compromising situation. She wanted to surprise him because he didn't go to school that day because he was 'sick,' which is what he had told her, but he skipped to be with this other classmate..."

Reddit user Superb_Feed5938: "I'm 16f, and I found out my first boyfriend has been cheating on me. We were together for 7-8 months, and he was (as far as I know) cheating for the last 4-5 months...He physically and emotionally cheated with multiple other girls. I can't stop investigating. It still feels like I haven't fully processed everything. I feel so empty. I keep going back and forth between missing him and hating him. The first week, I was so full of anger. It was hard to eat, and it felt like there was a hole in my chest...I know it's useless to try [to] find out more..."

Reddit user ThrowRAgotcheatedo: "Tonight, he confirmed he has cheated. Months ago, he flirted with a girl over text and 'took it too far,' which I'm assuming means things got sexual. He asked her to meet up, but claims they didn't. He says it's not cheating because it's not physical. But that doesn't matter...I'm still in shock and at a loss for how to move on. He's blocked on everything, and I'm disgusted at the thought of him."

Whether we had our first relationships as teenagers, in our 20s, or even later, first love often comes with a certain level of inexperience and immaturity. But at the end of the day, basic decency shouldn't be that difficult to learn, right? 🤔 And that responsibility falls on everyone involved—especially when people knowingly make choices that can hurt others.

As frustrating as that reality is, one thing we've learned from women who've lived through it is that healing starts when you stop looking for fault in yourself. Because whatever decision he made has nothing to do with your worth.

He simply is, and you simply are. And like the rest of us who survived this very unfortunate canon event, so will you. 🤗