The Internet Thinks Having A Boyfriend Is "Embarrassing" Now—What Does It Say About Modern Filipino Dating?

There was a time when being in a relationship felt like the ultimate milestone. You found someone! You were chosen! Cue the heart emojis. But now, in a world that celebrates self-prioritization and being your own self, being someone's girlfriend just doesn't hit quite the same.

British Vogue recently asked the question we didn't know we were thinking: Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? And as TikTok and Instagram users joined the conversation, one thing became clear. In a culture where everyone's performing for an audience (whether they know it or not), being in a relationship does feel a little embarrassing—not because of love itself, but because of everything it's come to represent.

In her essay, writer Chanté Joseph argued that "being partnered doesn't affirm your womanhood anymore." And she's right—because for a long time, that's exactly what it did. Having a boyfriend was once shorthand for being desirable, stable, and complete. You could have a thriving career, a well-decorated condo, and the best group of friends, but if you didn't have a partner, people still treated you like your life was missing that extra piece. (*cue your relatives asking "Kailan ka ba mag-aasawa?" at every single family reunion* 🫠)

But now, that logic just feels dated.

In 2025, more women are choosing to keep their relationships private, even if they're deeply in love. Gone are the days of the "boyfriend reveal" or hard launch, or the flood of couple selfies with matching captions. It's not that they're bitter or unhappy—they're simply setting boundaries.

There's also the fact that love—at least the visible kind—has become content for public consumption, especially in the age of social media.

You don't just date anymore; you curate a relationship. There's the soft launch (a photo of a wrist across the dinner table or their silhouette), the hard launch (a matching outfit reveal), and the inevitable joint collab post captioned "Us. 💖"

None of this is inherently bad. But when relationships become public property, it changes how we experience them. Suddenly, we’re not just in love—we're trying to prove that we're in love.

And maybe that's why it feels a little bit embarrassing. Because being a girlfriend in 2025 isn't just about partnership; it's about presentation and optics. Every romantic milestone comes with an audience, and every caption feels like an unconscious cry for validation.

Here in the Philippines, love has long been seen as both a rite of passage and a public event. From the ligaw rituals to the dramatic grand gestures, relationships have always come with a side of spectacle.

Even the way we celebrate anniversaries—full-on posts, sweet captions, coordinated outfits—speaks to how much romance is woven into our social identity. For many Filipinos, being "taken" doesn't just describe your relationship status; it subtly reflects your success, your desirability, and sometimes, your family's peace of mind.

So when women online start saying that having a boyfriend is "embarrassing," it's not really a rejection of love, or that they're actually embarrassed by their boyfriends—it's a critique of the idea that being in love automatically elevates your social worth.

Let's be clear: Being in love, invested, and affectionate isn't embarrassing. Being a "lover girl" is not a flaw—in fact, we at Cosmo are all for it! To be a lover girl is a choice and a strength. The real issue here isn't the romance itself—it's the way society has conditioned us to measure it.

For years, we were conditioned to treat relationships as markers of achievement. Our partner's accomplishments, the carefully curated couple photos, the anniversary posts—they weren't just personal milestones. They were signals to the world, a way of proving your desirability or your life's completeness. And if you didn't perform, it could be interpreted as failure.

Being a girlfriend doesn't require an audience. You can care deeply and invest fully in your relationship without turning it into a spectacle for public approval. Choosing to love quietly, without needing validation, is not shameful—it is deliberate, thoughtful, and often the most authentic way to love.

And if you are the type to post those cheesy captions, celebrate anniversaries online, or share a few sweet pictures? That's perfectly fine. Being a lover girl doesn't need to be hidden—it just needs to be yours first. Loving openly, posting happily, or being romantic is only problematic if it feels like it's for anyone else but you.

The takeaway: Love itself is not embarrassing. What can feel awkward is performing it for everyone else. Keep your affection and commitment intact, but make sure it serves you first.