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How To Give An ~*Amazing*~ Hand Job

Add some imagination.
PHOTO: istockphoto

1. Grease is the word.

Some things in this world are better dry. However, hand jobs are not one of them. If your dry palm pulls and chafes against the skin of his penis, he’s likely to wince and yelp. Smoothing a dash of lubricant over your hands before touching him will ensure your movements feel smoother and slicker.

Lubes can also add alternative sensory aspects to hand jobs. Try a warming or tingling type to switch things up if your lover appreciates such sensations. Or opt for an opaque, white-colored lubricant for an amazing X-rated visual that looks like he’s already cum in bucketloads and you’re playing with it, rubbing the gel on your bare breasts and nipples to amp up the show.

2. Adapt your approach according to whether or not he's circumcised.

If your man is uncircumcised, you can use his foreskin like a stimulating "sleeve," moving it gently up and down with the motion of your hand. Take note that some dudes’ foreskins are quite tight, so trying to force it down so that all of the glans is exposed can be excruciating.

My pal says: “If you pull a guy’s foreskin too far down during an HJ, it can hurt, so I prefer it when a woman begins by grasping my erect penis beneath the head and starts her movements with an upstroke, sliding the foreskin up over my glans then back down to its natural resting place. That feels most comfortable and pleasurable.”

If your partner is circumcised, his penis is likely to be slightly less sensitive since the skin of the glans is always exposed and used to being touched a lot of the time by the fabric of his underwear, and thus becomes a tad tougher. Lashings of lube plus a slightly tighter grip are likely to be pleasers for him. That said, circumcised penises are also more likely to suffer from dry skin, which can hurt if you’re rubbing it up and down, and can even develop tiny cuts or cracks. 

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3. Add some imagination with gloves and toys.

Into roleplay? Try donning a pair of latex gloves, slathering on some lube, then playing doctors and nurses by giving him a "thorough manual examination." If you’d both like to experiment with some anal play and finger probing, too, wearing gloves can help reassure and relax you both about hygiene.

To increase the firmness and fullness of his erection during a hand job, and make his orgasm feel more WOW, try using a cock constriction ring. Once he’s stiff, just stretch it over his penis and position it at the base, where it will stop blood from flowing out of his hard-on too quickly, keeping him standing to attention for longer.

4. Perfect the strength of grip on his length.

I’ve heard a lot of guys complain that because so many women appreciate light, delicate strokes to their own vaginas, they try touching gents' dongs in the same way, when in fact many men would prefer a much tighter, stronger, almost more aggressive grip.

I think lots of ladies are also worried about tugging too hard and hurting or even damaging their partner; we’ve all heard the horror stories about someone’s frenulum (the "banjo string" of connective tissue joining the head of the penis to the foreskin) tearing and spraying out blood. Not good. To ensure your grip is tight enough to suit his tastes, ask him to show you what he loves, by placing his hand over yours and squeezing until it feels pleasing.

Once you’ve found a pressure and rhythm that works for him, keep it going steadily. Although if you sense he’s nearing climax and you want to string things out a while longer, try "edging." Give him a moment to catch his breath and cool off slightly, before beginning to move again, taking him right up to the edge, and then pausing once more, until he simply can’t hold back any longer. When he does finally blow, his orgasm will feel like there’s TNT in his testicles.

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5. Try a few new techniques.

Try wrapping both your hands beneath the head of his cock, then smooth your well-lubed thumbs over his glans as though you’re trying to ease the cork out of a champagne bottleusing them both at once, or one after another, in a repetitive stroking motion. This is a very sensitive part of his penis, so it will feel intense, and is also a nifty way of taking a break from endless shank cranking if your wrists are getting tired!

You could also try positioning yourself behind him, wrapping your arms around him, then holding his penis with both hands as though you were gripping a golf club and sliding them up and down, pausing to lightly fondle his balls now and again with the hand closest to the base. 

Whatever moves you choose, make sure your motions follow the natural angle of his penis. His erection may not be at a perfect 90 degrees to his body but could lean slightly in either direction. Trying to push or bend it too far out of line can feel uncomfy.

6. Weigh it before, and after, the deed.

OK, this may sound odd, but before I give a hand job (or a blowjob, or enjoy any type of sexual play with a penis), sometimes I like to take a moment just to cup his dick in the palm of my hand and admire it.

I may as well say something like, “That is a beautiful cock." Letting my partner know that I think this incredibly intimate part of his body is gorgeous and that I’m excited to touch it helps him to relax and feel confident. More men have hang-ups about their genitals than you might imagine, and a few seconds spent bolstering his self-esteem and showing enthusiasm can make all the difference to how an experience unfolds. It also gives me a sneaky chance to examine what I’m working on!

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At the other end of the spectrum, once the hand job has achieved its aim and he’s ejaculated, I’ll avoid touching his penis for a short while, especially the tip. For many guys, this area is just too sensitive to be played with straight after orgasm. Conversely, gripping the insides of his thighs or pressing your palms lightly on his lower stomach can feel grounding and reassuring while he comes back down to earth. Ask him what he personally likesand what makes him say "yikes!"

Just be aware that if he’s not into being stroked and tickled straight after climax, that may not be a cold rejection of your affections; his nerve endings may simply be too jangly to handle further stimulation at that precise time.

Follow Alix on Twitter.

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com/uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.